So You Want to Start an Open Mic?

For almost every comedian starting out, the one thing they want more than anything else is stage time. There are only so many times you can do your jokes in front of your dog before it drive you insane. So, you think to yourself: “I should probably start an open mic! Then I can get heaps of stage time.” Here I am to ruin your bright idea with some questions you should ask yourself before embarking on this endeavor.

Do you have other places in which to perform?

Look around your area. If there are other places you can get up and do time, then you should not be starting an open mic. You know what the world has too much of? Free comedy. If every bar in the town is being bombarded by notebook carrying water sippers, then there isn’t anywhere to get paid to do comedy.

Ok. Maybe there are mics in your city already, but you work that night or your python has an appointment with the chiropractor. This sounds like you may need another place to perform, but…

Are you using the mics you can attend?

If you are not going on stage with newer stuff every week then you may not even need a new open mic. I see people work the same three minutes for six months, and complain about their growth. Use all the resources you have to the fullest and then you can look elsewhere for more time.

Is this mic different from the rest?

I was out of town a while ago and every mic I attended had the same format, so it had the same people telling the same jokes. If you are going to start a new mic look around and see what the community is missing. Does the area need another mic where comedians can only do three minutes? Maybe the area needs a mic where under 21 comedians can do some time. If all these things are covered then there is no need for another mic.

Choice doesn’t make it better.

You may think that because you have 50 comedians in your area that you will get 50 comedians to your mic. Nope! Comedians, like most people, can freeze up when there is too much choice given to them. If you have mics every day of the week, comedians start to pick and choose which ones react better to their jokes. I remember when a local Chinese place started doing a comedy open mic. People would flood it and it was the place to be, but because of the rowdiness of the crowd, people start just not coming out. In Spokane we have about five or six mics (I wrote a post about it and I have already forgotten how many there are) and out of the thirty or so comedians we have around most people don’t even attend them. That is because they stop putting value on stage time when there are a lot of mics and only think about where they can go to get the best response.

Running a mic can be a draining.

Comedians think all you have to do is have a stage and comedians will come. Doesn’t work that simply. Working with comedians on any level can drive you insane. Running a successful open mic is more than putting a list out and watching the crowd roll in. You have to constantly let people know you exist. You have to make sure it actually runs smoothly. You have to make sure you set clear rules so when one of the comedians says, “c***”, you have a plan of action (if that isn’t allowed of course). This takes a lot and if you are only doing it to tell the same ragged jokes just on the other side of town, there are way better ways you can spend your time. Like say, writing a blog no one reads. Bye!

Spokane’s Open Mic Guide 2020

I wrote a post in 2018 about open Mic’s in Spokane. It gets a lot of views. Because I am lazy, I will update it. I will comment on the mics I know something about.

Monday:

Nothing

Tuesday:

T’s Lounge: Sign ups start at 7pm with the show beginning at 8pm.

Wednesday:

Spokane Comedy Club:  This seems to be the premier open mic in the Spokane area. As such, there is a long list of comedians wanting to grace this stage. It used to be a first come, first serve affair, but it has now changed to an email system. This is how it works: You can email the club and let them know the open mic dates you wish to perform. If you get on, you will be sent an email with the dates you get to go up. They have two open spots that get picked at random, so if you are in town on a random Wednesday, you may be able to still do it.

I like this mic. There is an audience and with great sight lines you can record video of your sets anywhere in the room.

Soulful Soups: Second and last Wednesday of the month 10pm.  I have never performed here, but I have sat and watched.  This is a mixed mic, and it leans very heavy towards music, so don’t expect a hushed crowd when you walk up to sling your dick jokes.  You could be a featured performer for the night and get some soup.  I heard it’s very good.

Thursday:

Red Dragon:  Sign up at 6:30 for a 7pm show.  This is not the one downtown, but the one in the Hillyard neighborhood. This is every other Thursday

The District: Sign up starts at around 7:30 for a 8pm (ish) start time.  2.0 open mic is what it’s called, and it was the newest open mic until T’s came around.  Hosted by the myth Ken McComb, it is a great room to do a longer set, but don’t expect a lot of people in the audience.  It is sparsely attended, and that could be because the place is only open for about three or four days out of the week.  Those that do wander in will usually sit further back in the room so it will still seem as though only the comedians are paying attention.  I like this room because you can work on longer bits that you can’t at Spokane Comedy Club.

Neato Burrito: The oldest running open mic in Spokane, sign ups start around 9:30 with the show starting at around 10.  This mic is right down the street from The district so if you still have some comedy in you, you should stop in.  Casey Strain is the host and this has become the longest running open mic in all the land.  Attendance seems to be in waves.  You never know how many people will be in there when you get up.  You can perform a longer set here, but the audience is a little more tight than other mics in the area.  It used to be much worse, but now going up and doing your thing isn’t as bad.  I like that it is a later mic so you tend to see more of the night life roaming around Spokane.  Also grab a burrito and a drink.

Friday:

Red Dragon:  Sign ups at 7:30pm with a 8pm showtime. This mic has had its ups and downs for a while now. It used to be a year round mic, but this past summer was the first time they stopped. It is back on, but I haven’t personally been able to get down there.  They may not be the audience you want, but they are the audience you get.  Darryl Burns host the show, and for the most part things are pretty smooth.  This was not how it was years ago.  It was the wild west of open mics when it first started.  It was not unheard of for someone to get cursed out while they were on stage…or worse!  Now, if you can handle a little noise from the people frustrated that they can’t play pool, or the “whispers” of a former pimp in the corner, then this can be a great mic.

Saturday:

Nothing

Sunday:

Nope!

These are all the open mics in Spokane.  A couple may be missing because I either thought they were too heavy on music or I just don’t know about it.  Thanks to Ryan McComb  for the help in putting this together.  Now get out there and get your funny on!

Gift Ideas for the Comedian in Your Life 2019 Edition

Here we are once again! It’s that time of year where you stave off that existential crisis and the ever approaching collapse of the universe, by celebrating the birth of a guy that was probably born in the spring because some pagans were winter humping or something…anyway, here is this years’ list of items I think the comedian in your life would love!

Shure MV88+ Premium Digital Stereo Condenser Microphone Video Kit with Manfrotto PIXI Mini Tripod

https://www.adorama.com/shmv88pluskt.html

If that comedian in your life just started out they may want to record themselves and put it on YouTube and make a million million dollars. Well, tell them not to do the second part, but they should do the first part. Recording your set is valuable and all of us carry a recording device with us all the time. Just connect this to your phone and BAM! You have a nice setup to record yourself in the corner of a dank bar.

Tascam DR-22WL Portable Handheld Recorder with Wi-Fi

https://www.adorama.com/tsdr22wl.html

If they don’t want to see themselves in that dank bar get them this. Then they can hear themselves while they head to the next open mic. Laughing by yourself in public is always seen as a good thing.

Rode Microphones VideoMic NTG On-Camera Shotgun Supercardioid Microphone

https://www.adorama.com/rdvmntg.html

If they love cameras and have a nice one (more on that later) then get them this. A shotgun mic aimed at the stage is a better idea then a camera’s mic that will pick up everything in the room. I have a model like this from Diety. I would put the link in here, but I am wasting valuable Call of Duty time typing this.

Samsung Galaxy S10e Factory Unlocked Phone with 128GB

https://amzn.to/2rbUB0u

If they need a new phone so they can look all cool around other comedians then get them this. Now that can send all their avails to bookers that will ignore them.

Apple iPhone XS Max, 256GB, Gold

https://amzn.to/2rduWEv

And how can I forget the Apple folks. Besides getting more sex and being more well off than Android folks they want to walk around with a gold phone. Well, here it is. Call Tim Cook and tell him I said Hi.

Saramonic Blink 500 B3 Ultracompact 2.4 GHz Wireless Clip-On Microphone System with Lavalier and Battery-Free Dual-Channel Lightning Receiver for Apple iPhone and iPad

https://www.adorama.com/sarblnk500b3.html

If they have plans of doing even more funny stuff then these are what they need! They are lav mics that transmit to a phone (they have android and ios receivers)! So they can film sketches without spending a ton on audio equipment. I have a model from Rode which works great as well, I would link but you know…lazy.

Panasonic HC-VX981K 4K Ultra HD Camcorder

https://www.adorama.com/pchcvx981k.html

If you want to kick it up a little bit get them this. This is a great camera that captures a 4k image so all your pratfalls will be glorious. With some of the more pricier models, they can connect their shotgun mic to it and record themselves in 4k. They can be the Michael Bay of static comic shots!

Rode Microphones RODECaster Pro Integrated Podcast Production Console

https://www.adorama.com/rdrcp.html

If they have dreams of becoming the next Joe Rogan then get them this! It has everything (except the mics of course) an aspiring podcaster could want. They can have sound clips assigned to the buttons and they can connect their phone to it to receive phone calls from all their adoring fans. Or they can sit in the basement and talk to themselves…either or.

Fujifilm X-T3 26.1MP Mirrorless Digital Camera with XF 18-55mm f/2.8-4 R LM OIS Lens, Black

https://www.adorama.com/ifjxt3bk.html

If you really love that comedian in your life you can get them this! This will capture all their antics and when times get tough they can pawn it or use it to club a crazed fan.

I hope you enjoyed this year’s list of items. I like tech so that is why most of what I posted is tech related. If you were thinking clothes or something…get em a top hat. I hear that is the newest trend of 2020. The one thing every comedian would love from their loved ones though is encouragement. This is a bumpy road just to make ends meet, so if you love them enough to pay $75-$1700 on a gift for them then encourage them to get out their and make their dreams come true.

2018 Guide to Spokane Open Mics

A couple years ago, I wrote a post about open mics in the Spokane area.  It has since been one of my most popular post.  So, I decided to write a newer one!  I will list all the mics that happen in the Spokane area, and I will comment on the ones I have attended.  Lets get into it.

Monday:

Red Room Lounge: Sign ups are at 8:30 and it starts at 9.  This is a mixed mic.

 

Tuesday:

The Bartlett: Check website to make sure if they are going to have one.  Mainly a musical mic, but they will let you up…if you can do PG-13 rated comedy.

T’s Lounge: Sign ups start at 7pm with the show beginning at 8pm.

 

Wednesday:

Spokane Comedy Club:  Sign ups start at 7, but a line starts forming around 6:20, so if you really want to get on the list, you should be there around 6:30 and plan something to do after you get your name on the list.  The show starts at 8pm.  This is one of the biggest mics in the area, and for good reason, this is the club for the Spokane area.  Expect a list of around 20-25 comedians, with most doing three and a half minutes.  This is a very easy mic to do because there isn’t a much animosity as with a lot of other open mics.  So, if it is your first time, this may be the place for you because it is very welcoming.  There is usually a pretty good audience…for an open mic.  Expect to see some oddities, as will happen at most mics at a large club, but overall it is a great place to perform.

Geno’s Pizza: 8pm until midnight sign ups throughout show

Soulful Soups: Second and last Wednesday of the month 10pm.  I have never performed here, but I have sat and watched.  This is a mixed mic, and it leans very heavy towards music, so don’t expect a hushed crowd when you walk up to sling your dick jokes.  You could be a featured performer for the night and get some soup.  I heard it’s very good.

 

Thursday:

Red Dragon:  Sign up at 6:30 for a 7pm show.  This is not the one downtown, but the one in the Hillyard neighborhood.

The District: Sign up starts at around 7:30 for a 8pm (ish) start time.  2.0 open mic is what it’s called, and it was the newest open mic until T’s came around.  Hosted by the myth Ken McComb, it is a great room to do a longer set, but don’t expect a lot of people in the audience.  It is sparsely attended, and that could be because the place is only open for about three or four days out of the week.  Those that do wander in will usually sit further back in the room so it will still seem as though only the comedians are paying attention.  I like this room because you can work on longer bits that you can’t at Spokane Comedy Club.

Neato Burrito: Sign ups start around 9:30 with the show starting at around 10.  This mic is right down the street from The district so if you still have some comedy in you, you should stop in.  Casey Strain is the host and this has become the longest running open mic in all the land.  Attendance seems to be in waves.  You never know how many people will be in there when you get up.  You can perform a longer set here, but the audience is a little more tight than other mics in the area.  It used to be much worse, but now going up and doing your thing isn’t as bad.  I like that it is a later mic so you tend to see more of the night life roaming around Spokane.  Also grab a burrito and a drink.

 

Friday:

Red Dragon:  Sign ups at 7:30pm with a 8pm showtime.  Other than the Spokane Comedy Club, this is the second most attended mic in terms of audience.  They may not be the audience you want, but they are the audience you get.  Darryl Burns host the show, and for the most part things are pretty smooth.  This was not how it was years ago.  It was the wild west of open mics when it first started.  It was not unheard of for someone to get cursed out while they were on stage…or worse!  Now, if you can handle a little noise from the people frustrated that they can’t play pool, or the “whispers” of a former pimp in the corner, then this can be a great mic.

 

Saturday:

Nothing

 

Sunday:

The Ridler Piano Bar:  8pm showtime.  This is more of a showcase than an open mic, but if you are feeling it, just give Deece Casillas a holler.  This is a great place to do comedy, and there is usually a good audience.  Because it’s a showcase, however, don’t expect to get a lot of time because then you get in the way of booked performers.

 

There are all the open mics in Spokane.  A couple may be missing because I either thought they were too heavy on music or I just don’t know about it.  Thanks to Ryan McComb  for the help in putting this together.  Now get out there and get your funny on!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why It’s Hard To Break Into Comedy Clubs (For Some)

I hope everyone had a happy New Years.  Now it is time to get back at it.  With this one let’s talk about the difficulties of getting booked into comedy clubs.

If you think about it, comedy clubs are very unique.  Comedy is the one of the few performing arts that basically has its own space.  There is not a ballet bar, or a poem emporium.  This obviously means that if you want to ply your trade in stand-up this is one of the first places you would look. You would think it would be as simple as emailing the person who books talent at the club and if they see a use for you, then you are good to go.  Well, it is not that easy.  Let us talk about the simple fact that there is only so many comedy clubs in the country.  Sure some cities like Chicago and New York City have several, but a lot of places may have just one club, and that one club has between 48 to 52 weekends (depending on things like when holidays fall and such) in which to fill.  Most comedy shows have a MC, feature, and headliner.  So at most, a club needs three comedians a weekend.  Now I hope you see that there are a ton of people that have the capacity to fill these spots, so that makes comedy clubs sort of a gate keeper.  If they want to have people return, they want to put on the best show they can afford.  That means they have to be a little more picky then say the sardine factory that just needs to fill five canning positions.

Now the above tries to explain why its hard to get booked into comedy clubs on just a numbers aspect.  The thing is you have another hurdle, the booker.  There are men and women all across this country that book these shows and because they are human and have particular tastes, they will make decisions for a variety of reasons.  I have heard them all.  From just not that funny to you live too far away and we don’t want to house you.  Also because they are human, they are not immune from just grabbing what is nearby.  Why book a comedian for a show in Atlanta when they live in Portland?  Why not just look in your immediate vicinity.  Especially for features because there are a ton of people that can perform between 20-30 minutes of comedy.  It is less stress to know that most of your talent is in town.  That is why it is really hard to get booked as a MC or feature the farther away you look.  They can just grab a local comedian to MC and save money and hassle.  They don’t have to worry about comics changing their minds at the last minute because they can’t afford to come perform.  You also have to think about the booker and the amount of inquiries they receive on a day to day basis.  I can only imagine all the emails and packages they get from comedians that want to work their club.  They can’t possibly get to it all.  If you receive 200 emails a day, it will get to a point where you will ignore a ton of emails and base your decisions on what your peers are telling you.  Then there is just plain ole biases.  They may not like musical comedians, or comedians that wear hats on stage.  They won’t tell you this outright, but it could keep your from getting work from them.

Here is another thing.  Comedy clubs are businesses.  They are not non profits that are putting on comedy shows for the good of the community.  They are trying to get the audience to buy food and alcohol, and your quips about Tupperware is what is keeping them there.  These clubs are looking for people that can put asses in seats.  It is not so much how funny you can be, but an as of now undiscovered equation between funny and popular.  Why do you think your local club has that former porn star coming to town next week?  Because they are popular enough, and sometimes funny enough, to put asses in seats and make the club some money.  If you can’t offer them that, then it is hard to break in.  This is not so much a concern of MCs and feature acts because they are seen as younger, less experienced comedians, but headliners have to worry about this a lot.

So, how can you increase your chances you may ask.  Well, the thing you have to remember is persistence. You have to be able to accept that you will get turned down a lot and keep trying to get in contact with these clubs.  You will send out hundreds of emails and you may get one response back.  It’s important to know that you can not guess what is going on on the other side of email.  The booker may be ignoring emails.  They may be seeing it and not responding because you do not fit their place.  I will say this, if you got a response and they say no, then you should not keep sending them emails.  Accept the no and when you have a new headshot or new video for them to take a look at, then you should probably give it another try.  If they say contact again in six months, then do that. I have an spreadsheet (I know!) where I can check off who I have contacted and if they responded to me.  I don’t use it as much as I should, but it is helpful in keeping track.  You can also hit up the club’s open mic.  This is a great way of getting in front of people that can get your booked.  Don’t see it as a guarantee that the booker will be there though.  If I can get there, I like to do that because networking and getting to know bookers and what they are looking for is a great way to improve your chances of getting work in the future.  You can also try booking independent shows in clubs during off nights.  Some clubs will let you rent their spot on a night where they are not doing a proper show and you can show them that you have enough pull in the area to be brought back for a weekend.  You can also try this with a specialty show.  We have a show in Spokane called Drink N Debate, and it is put on at the Spokane Comedy Club every month.  The bookers get to see a lot of comedians and can evaluate them for potential work.

The key is being persistent and remembering that it is an uphill battle, but one you will have to go through if you are trying to get into comedy clubs.

 

Gift Ideas For The Comedian In Your Life (2017)

Yep, we are doing this once again!  Here is the list of things I think you should get that special comedian in your life.  There will be three groupings: Open micer, Feature act, and Headliner!  I hope this helps you.  You can help me by clicking on the embedded links.  Every purchase kicks a couple of nickles my way.  Thanks!

Open Micer

Saramonic Mini Smartmic

Just Starting out, it is a great idea to have a mic.  You can use the mic on your phone, but a dedicated microphone is an awesome option so you can get more of your voice and less of the pool game in the back of the room.  If you have a little more coin, Get this Rode Video Mic Me.

Lemome A5 Wide Ruled Hardcover Writing Notebook

Every comedian needs something to write with.  Get them one of these bad boys.  It is a nice looking notebook so when they walk into that biker’s bar they will look like someone.  If they always writing and you know they will go through a couple of these in no time, these will work great.

 

Pentel Libretto Roller Gel Pen

Yeah, these may work, but if you want them to feel important, then get them a fancy pen!  They will feel like Dickens or Poe while writing about their balls.

 

Feature Act    

The prices may be rising, so that also means this is for those that may be a little more serious about comedy.

 

Beastgrip Universal Lens Adapter & Rig System

 

Now that you have the time, it is time to start working on that set that will get you in the biggest clubs in the country, or at the very least, keep your granny from hassling you.  The beastgrip is designed for any phone, so you don’t have to worry about iphone, android, or (shudders) Windows phone.  They have lenses and connection to add mics, lights, and anything else to get the best video to send out there. If this is too much then this is a great alternative.

 

PRORECK PARTY 15 Portable 15-Inch 2000 Watt 2-Way Powered PA Speaker System

This is for the people out there that are putting on their own shows.  They may not be booked in a place that has their own sound system.  Instead of standing in the back by the darts, not getting heard, grab these bad boys and now they can take their comedy on the road, making that sweet, sweet tater tot money.  These are a little more expensive, but they are nicer to carry.

 

Mini Flash Strobe Lights

If they don’t have a sound system, they may not have proper lighting.  Now, you can go to Lowes and get a clamp light, but these will work great because you can slap them on a stand and you have a nice spot light.

 

Headliner

 

Lenovo Flex 4 Premium 2 in 1 Convertible 

Hey, a comedian is on the road all the time, and they need a companion that will help them unwind, or keep them writing deep into the night.  This has enough power to edit your videos and podcast, and it bends all sorts of ways so you can watch a movie while you lay on your friends sofa.  If you are an apple guy I suggest this bad boy.

 

Samsung Note 8 (64GB)

 

Everyone has a cell phone, but do they have a cell phone this sweet?  You can do a lot with this bad boy.  Joke ideas can be jotted down without turning the phone on.  Your set list can be written down last minute and saved on this gorgeous and huge screen.  It is pricey if not bought with a plan, but it will be your comedian’s favorite possession.  If you are an iphone guy this will do. If you are a Windows phone or Blackberry user this is for you.

 

PANASONIC LUMIX G7 4K Mirrorless Camera

This is personally my favorite thing to talk about.  A dedicated camera is great because you won’t have to rely on the digital zoom that a lot of cameras on phones have.  With interchangeable lens cameras, you can decide how you want the footage to look.  This Panasonic is one of the cheapest 4k cameras you can get.  It has a mic jack so you can get awesome sound as well as crispy video.  If you must have a camcorder, let me suggest this one.  It is another Panasonic, but it is a traditional camcorder for all of those that want to also film a sex tape when they are not on stage.

 

There are plenty of things that you can stuff in their stockings.  Get them a domain from Squarespace, that way they can set up a website to help fans get in touch with them.  If they are going from open mic to open mic then get them a lyft gift card!  That way they can travel all around the city attending mics and not have to worry about parking.  You could also give them a hug.  They will probably need it!  I would like to thank Phil, Missy, Mika and Folger for giving me some great ideas for this post.  Oh and Greg.  I didn’t forget Greg…ole Greg.

 

 

 

 

Why Open Mics Fail

Open mics are supposed to help comedians gauge jokes and build acts.  For every open mic that last for years, there are about 5 that fail after a couple of months.  Why? I will give you my opinion.

Let us start from the top.  There are many reasons someone will want to put on an open mic.  They need one in an area that has a lot of comedians, or maybe they are tired of the open mic they have been attending. Whatever the case, a mic could fail if the person that is running it isn’t paying attention to it.  Just walking into a place and asking to let comedians try their jokes there isn’t enough.  You have to be willing to let comedians and audience members know that there is an open mic.  That means weeks and months of social media work.  You have to remember that the average person may not have open mic comedy in their list of things to do with their leisure time.  They have to be told and reminded that there is an option that they can partake in.

If your mic has no comedians then it is just a really sad meeting.  A lot of times I see a mic get started and it was totally because the person that started it wanted one closer to their house and didn’t bother asking any other comedians if they wanted to go to another open mic.  If you are a fresh comedian, a bunch of open mics are great.  If you have been doing it a while you may not want or need another location to perform. Open mics can be a chore, especially in large cities.  You may have to sit through two dozen people before you get to go up for three minutes.  Not everyone wants to go through that almost every day of the week.  I feel a lot of these mics do not take that into account.  They just open thinking that comedians will just blindly show up and that isn’t the case a lot of the time.  Years ago, we had someone open a mic across town from where most of the mics were located.  It lasted all of three months.  One of the reasons it lasted three months was because people didn’t really live in that area and were not inclined to drive all the way over there.

The last reason I feel a lot of open mics fail is a biggie.  The establishment doesn’t understand what is going on.  Someone wants to start a mic.  They go to a bar that looks like it has a stage.  They tell the owner/manager that they want to do open mic comedy there.  The owner/manager is hesitant.  The owner/manager then gets told that it is free.  Then when the owner/manager actually sees what is going on, they want it to end because it drives away the customers they did have, and/or they are not making any more money with a bunch of comedians taking up space.  There is a disconnect between some open mic runners and the staff.  You have to lower expectations.  Tell them that it could take awhile to get an open mic up and running where comedians and audience members show up.  Let them know that there will be people there that may not know a joke from a taint.  That way when the people that own the bar sees someone up there talking about punching the elderly that they don’t freak out and shut everything down.  This is the job of the open mic runner.

The job of the staff of the open mic spot, need to understand that if they only had eight people in there on that night, they can’t expect 70 to show up for open mic.  They have to be just as willing as everyone else to let it grow.  Customers may not want to hear comedy so they may not want to come in those nights, but that is something that will happen if there has never been live entertainment there before.  Either the customers learn to like it, or they don’t show up, and they get replaced with people that want to see comedy.

Open mics will fail.  Just like a business or a marriage.  I think everyone involved with an open mic should be willing to do a little bit to ensure the success of it.  That means every so often letting people know that there is an open mic that they can see comedy.  You don’t have to put that on your social media all the time.  Just inform those you know and try to grown it through word of mouth.  Having open mics benefit everyone.  It is a place to have new comedians try it and a place for the rest to work and improve.  It can be a generator of income for a business.  Which makes the owners happy and leads to them not going crazy when they see a new person talk about dropkicking baby seals.

Mic Etiquette

For 95% of comedians, the mic is the only tool we have on the stage (unless you’re a stool humper, you have two).   The thing that makes our voices carry over the drunk masses should be treated with respect and dignity.  Here’s a bunch of rules I made up.

Stuff about the Stand:  The stand holds the mic, but some comedians use it like a stress ball.  Some comedians don’t like to remove the mic from the stand.  Some fiddle with it and slam it around.  That is fine, but if you notice when you have the mic in the stand, that the noise is travelling to the mic, then you should leave it alone.  It is distracting to hear ever tap on the stand while you are trying to tell  jokes.

Get familiar with the stand:  Is it a normal stand with a base and a straight pole, or is it one of those musician nightmare machines with eight joints and a bunch of knobs?  Well, get there early and give it a look so you don’t look like a fool playing with it.  All you have to do is walk to the stage and look at it.

Mic holding: I am not about to tell you how to hold a damn mic…ok I am.  Hold it somewhere near your mouth.  That is why you are holding a voice amplification device.  If you have it down by your waist, you will not be heard.  Now, sometimes the mic is “hot” (turned up too high) and the sound guy, or bar tender, isn’t around to fix it, so you may have to keep it away from your face, but that is the only case.  Also, if you are holding the ball of the mic, covering most of it, then you will probably sound mumbled. Rappers do it to look cool.  The eight people at this open mic already know you are cool.

The mic is your friend, don’t hurt it!: I don’t know why this is a thing, but people beat the hell out of mics.  They slam em against their legs, they pound on em.  They throw em, and swing em around.  Don’t do that! Microphones, good microphones, like almost every comedy club has, is not cheap.  If you have a bit where you beat a microphone up, then just go to Amazon, and buy a three dollar mic to abuse.  The mic should not be an expense for the club.  This is extra true for bars and other places that may only pull out their mic but every once in awhile.  If you mess that one up, they may not have another one, and you are left with a dead mic.  Look, I get that you saw you favorite comedian beat a microphone up, but they can probably pay to get it replaced.  You probably can’t afford to do a mic drop, so don’t do it.  Mainly because you are not the only one that has to use it later.

It may seem like a silly thing to write about, but people have been asked not to come back to a spot because of how they beat up the mic.  That is like being a janitor and destroying the floor polisher.  Show the people running the place that you have respect for their equipment.  You don’t want that to be the reason you are out of future work.

 

Guide To Spokane Open Mics

Spokane is home to a great deal of open mics.  A variety of open mics are great to those comedians that want to see if their material will work in multiple demographics.  If you are in the Spokane area, here is a guide to help you navigate the open mic scene here.  If you are not in the Spokane area, this is still helpful because it gives you a sense of the many types of mics that are in a lot of cities.

Monday:

Red Room Lounge, 521 W Sprague Ave:  This is usually a music venue, and so the open mic reflects that.  If you are a comedian that wants to get up on a Monday however, you can do so here as well.  I have not personally been here so I can only tell you this much.

Wednesday:

Spokane Comedy Club, 315 W Sprague Ave:  This is one of the biggest open mics in the city, so if you want to get on here you will have to get there early. The show starts at 8, but sign up starts at 7, and trust me, by around 7:15 it will be full.  Because of the number of comedians, stage time is limited (usually around three and a half minutes), but there is usually a good turnout and they seem ready for comedy. This is a great place to go for your first time because the audience seem supportive.

Soulful Soups, 117 N. Howard St.: This open mic is a mix between musicians and comedians.  You have an audience, but they tend to lean more towards the musical side, but if you are still craving comedy after your set at Spokane Comedy Club, then you can keep the stage time rolling.  If this is your first couple of times going up, it may seem rough, but that is just the open mic life. Now just every third Wednesday. Showtime starts at 10pm.

Thursday:

The District, 916 W 1st Ave: This is a newer mic, and as such the crowd is slowly fulling itself out, but if you want more time than the Spokane Comedy Club can offer and you don’t want to go up after a musical act, then this is the place on Thursday nights.  Because there isn’t much of a crowd, some weeks it can seem like a terrible place to perform.  I think there is a trade off though.  If you are working on your first five minutes, then this is a great place to iron it out.  If it can stay running, it will be a great place to work on material. Showtime starts at 8pm.

Neato Burrito, 827 W 1st St.: This is the longest running open mic in Spokane, and one that has gone through many “forms”.  In it’s earlier days, it was known for having an audience that didn’t really appreciate comedy.  It also didn’t help that if you were a comic that was a little rough around the edges that you would not do as well here.  That turned around about a year or so ago, and it is a much more fulfilling open mic experience.  It  starts late, but it gives you time (unless a band is going to play after), and you get a discount on their awesome burritos. Showtime is around 10pm.

Friday:

Chan’s Red Dragon, 1406 W 3rd Ave: When this room started, it was the wild west of open mics in Spokane.  Because of it’s location, it was known for having a more…rough audience than any other open mic in the city.  I have seen comics come off the stage in tatters.  When it first opened, if you were not a hardened comedian, it was a rough go.  Audience members would scream things at comedians and curse them out, and tempers would flare. Now that it is a more mature open mic, it is great for the comedian that wants to work on material, but can’t get on shows that are going on that night.  There is still the odd person screaming obscenities at the stage, but not as often as it used to be.  Get there by 7:30 and when 8 gets around you will be performing in the belly of a Chinese restaurant.

Open Mic Etiquette

A local comic thought it would be a swell idea if I wrote something on what is and isn’t acceptable at an open mic.  So, that is what I am doing.  Before we get into the meat and potatoes of this though, I need to talk about a couple of things.  Not all open mics are the same.  In New York, looking at your phone is a no-no, but it may not be a big issue somewhere else.  Portland may be more strict on what you can say on their stages then say an open mic in Montana.  What you have to do is research! find out what is cool and isn’t cool and go have fun.

Respect the light:  Open mics are made to help comics work on their material.  What a lot of comics don’t realize though is that these places are also businesses and they are in it to make money.  That is why almost every open mic has a light.  The light alerts you to the fact that your time is almost up and you have to wrap it up.  The light is important because it helps a show move along.  Just imagine if there was no time limit and 20 comedians!  The show would be four hours long.  You will also see real comedy shows using the light to let comics know their time is up, so it is best to pay attention and respect it now.

If it is your first time at a certain open mic, ask about the time given to comics.  Make sure to adjust your material accordingly.  Don’t try to shove eight minutes in a five minute timeframe.  If you are at four minutes and 20 seconds, just call it good.  There is nothing wrong with leaving a little time on the table (it’s called giving time back to the club or mic). If you write your jokes into your phone, then you can just set a timer.  Let’s say you have five minutes at an open mic, set your timer to four minutes and five seconds.  That gives you five seconds to get on stage and when the timer goes off you know you should wrap up the joke or try a shorter one. Ask where the light is located.  The light may be someone’s cell phone or it may be a built in light.  Saying that you didn’t see the light, is not a good excuse.  Going over the light is a great way to be asked not to come back and it is a great way to not get booked.

Some words are off limits:  You may think you have a first amendment right to say what you want where you want, and you would be wrong.  If you are at someone’s place of business, they can restrict what you can and can not say while you are in their.  I have seen it time and time again where a newer comic will go up and say cunt, or nigger, or spic and get banned from the open mic.  If you are not sure, go ask someone who has been there before.  If that doesn’t help, just watch the show.  Are people up there just saying whatever?  Then it may not be an issue.  I know one club in Spokane did not want comics saying the word “cunt” on stage.  His explanation is that women don’t like the word and that will turn them away.  That is all the explanation you need.  Respect their stage, or start your own stage.

Stick around:  Here is the thing.  Comics need people to perform for.  If you have performed in front of a crowd, it is in bad taste to leave as soon as you get off stage. I thought this was a personal gripe, but it is universally disliked.  Look, everyone has things to do.  You may be going to multiple open mics or you have work early in the morning, but you have to consider other comedians.  If you have to leave and be somewhere else, it may be best to not come to the open mic.  Comics who do it a lot often get put to the back of the list as to keep them there.  I think this is a good way to keep comics who bail around or it makes them not sign up for the open mic.

Use your own stuff!:  A lot of people see open mics not as a way to develop as a comedian, but as a way to gain approval.  So, it isn’t rare to see a comic walk up on stage with material that they didn’t write.  Open mics for comedy are not like music open mics.  How well you repeat a famous Carlin bit will not be seen in the same light as if someone can belt out an Aretha Franklin tune.  Another common no-no is to repeat jokes you have seen on Facebook memes.  If you saw it on Facebook, it is likely that many, many people have also seen it.  You may get a laugh, but comics that write and work on their own material may not like it at all.

I think these are some good tidbits to help you succeed at open mics.  This is not a final list of course. If you have some suggestions, put them in the comments section and I may do another article on them.  Thanks for stopping by!!