What’s been going on

I started this blog at the end of the blogging “revolution”. I never gave it a unique URL, I just wrote stuff that I learned from my years doing comedy. A buddy of mine thought it would be a great idea to write what I knew for the people that want to try comedy, but didn’t have a guide. Well, I wrote weekly for a year and then pretty much solidly for another year and just noticed that I didn’t catch on to anyone. The demographic for low and low-mid comedians is small. Add to the fact that I never really branded it meant it was a base of knowledge that not many had access to. That is why I have basically stopped. I may collect these and put them in an ebook. I could sell like 3 a year!

Went to Las Vegas with my high school best friends and it was great. It reinvigorated me. I have been getting a little down on my comedy career, especially when I see that my military buddies are retiring and my other buddies are making dough in their careers and I feel like I have been spinning my wheels for about four years. It helped me see a little more clearly. That doesn’t mean I don’t think I am still spinning my wheels. I just feel better about the whole thing.

Comedy has been steady so far in 2022. 2021 was a cluster with lower amounts of shows. I think this was due to more comedians just bringing acts with them taking those coveted club feature spots. I can’t blame em. Why risk it with a stranger when you can get someone you know isn’t gonna give you the Rona. The club feature spots are great cause if you sell merch, you can make as much as a low level headliner. I was attached to two national headliners: Dan Cummins and John Caparulo . I haven’t worked with Cap in a couple of years, but Dan has been giving me work and it is appreciated. It is a different experience when a big headliner brings you along. The club gives you a room. They usually pay a little more, and they don’t treat you like a burden. It feels good.

I did a big show with my buddies in Idaho. I love doing stuff like that, but three of the four of us are headliners. The only way we work together is if someone is willing to take less, or we do a show like the one we did. I don’t mind making less cause I always think I can make up for it selling stuff. I just love working with people I like and the money doesn’t bother me.

The next three weeks will be full of travel. Going to the Seattle area twice this month and heading to the east coast next week. It feels good to be doing busy comedy stuff.

Until next time.

What is “real” in the comedy industry (apply to the entertainment industry as a whole)

I just finished an episode of ‘Black Market’ on Vice. The episode in question, talked about the use of “bots” to inflate numbers on streaming services and cause you to not be able to get that cool new item that just hit store shelves. Now, bot is a term used for programs that do what humans do, but way more efficiently. So, you want the new Jordan’s. You would have to click on the shoes and do all the fraud stuff to finally click purchase. A bot can do all that in seconds, and with multiple bots on the same page, they can scoop up all the in demand product before you got your wallet out. Now in terms of entertainment, it is being used to inflate streaming numbers. Bots are also being used to inflate social media numbers so that a person looks better to people wanting to use their platform to sell stuff.

So, as I watched this show, I thought to myself: What is real in this business?

Nothing new under the sun

You’ve no doubt heard the saying “nothing new under the sun” and that is the case here. Companies and business interest have been propping up certain people for ages to attract a certain clientele. In the old Hollywood days, they would have two up and coming stars go out on the town together to get the gossip going for a new movie. A rock band would get a sexy album cover done up so as to bother the pearl clutching masses.

When I first started comedy, the bringer show was popular. A bringer show is where the promoter will tell the acts that they will have to bring people to the show in order to get on stage. The more people you brought, the more stage time you got. This really inflated the numbers for the promoter. They look as though they know how to put on a show, when in fact they sold stage time.

There was also the “trick” of having a person that could fill seats “headline” and flood the rest of the line up with people because the headliner couldn’t do as much time as a headliner is usually required to do. Again, it inflated the confidence in the person that they could headline when in fact they used their family and friends to have a cool night at a bar.

Technology makes everything easier…and harder

Once social media became a thing and you could reach out to more people than just those within your view, it opened up a whole new level of tracking popularity and ways to exploit it. There are legit comedians who got a big push because they were relentless on social media. Any comedian that is decent can do this. If you are funny, and can make compelling content for social media you can see you numbers rise…maybe.

You see, those people I talked about up there are a very small number of super human, super weird people. Think about it. You have to be on social media and pumping stuff every day. The algorithm demands it! There are a lot of comedians that just forget or loose steam or have other things to do. I was on the road this weekend, and I had photos from the show I wanted to post, but because I was driving, in the freezing fog, I had other things on my mind than posting sick photos on social media. It is hard to keep up with the appetite of people that just want to be entertained so a lot of comedians will not gain as much traction as maybe their talents would relay.

We finally talk about bots and comedy

Stand-up comedy can be affected because just like music labels and advertising companies, clubs and promoters and bookers are looking at these same social media numbers to see if someone is “worth” it. Here is an example: Comedian A and Comedian B are both trying to get into a comedy club for this open weekend. Comedian A has 12 years of experience and some credits, but nothing that jumps off the page. Comedian B has been doing it for four and has amassed a following on Tik-Tok of 250k followers. The club will more than likely go with Comedian B.

This is not to say that Comedian B doesn’t deserve it. It’s just that for as long as stand-up has been around, the way up was creating an act that was funny through and through. So, just from what you see in front of you more experience could translate into a better show and happier patrons and repeat customers. That is not how comedy clubs work however. There is too much risk in having a low turnout weekend because no one knew the comedian they had there.

It’s not like clubs didn’t have an answer for this already. When a club had a person come in that wasn’t moving tickets organically, they would just “paper” the room. Papering the room is just giving out free or discounted tickets. The club isn’t really concerned about the money at the door (in some, but not all situations). They want to get into your pockets when you sit down to eat and drink, they just need you there. So, going with Comedian B and their 250k followers he has the potential of selling out a room…maybe.

Something is afoot

Here is where the issues lie. How do you know that the numbers you look at are true and not just inflated by none booze drinking computers? Sometimes by the time it’s too late. The club has the information that they usually dug up themselves or was given to them by the agent of the person coming in. Of course those numbers are gonna look more favorable for the talent. So the club doesn’t know if that person spent $1500 to get 100k followers or to get their videos to look as though more people are watching them. They just click on the profile photo and see that Comedian B has 250k followers.

In the online space, you can keep pulling this off until you accumulate a bunch of money and legit success or you get found out as a fraud. In the comedy industry though, it comes a lot quicker…and slower. Do you know how many shows I have done where the headliner was some Tik-Tok or Vine star and when I get there twenty people are in the audience? I used to say to myself: “Man, I guess no one in Spokane ever heard of them then.” Nah. That is their real draw, I am just giving people the benefit of the doubt because I have been told all my life that if I haven’t seen the success, that means I haven’t been working hard enough. What’s great about this though is that if they have a contract and guaranteed money, they will leave and do it to the next club or event space. No club wants to announce to the world that they had a low turn out for a show, so these people can keep on doing it until they get a DUI or something.

Is this bad for the industry

When I was thinking about writing this all up, the last thing I wanted to do was come off bitter. That is what guys who haven’t grasped technology do. Having a following online is a great way to connect and grow your audience. When you can show the same results with the use of technology, it changes the dynamic from funny and lucky to bot user and lucky.

I am not going to sit here and say that this is the end of comedy clubs and all that. Comedy clubs are in a weird space in the American entertainment landscape. There are so many comedians that can say any number of things that an unknown number of people can find off-putting or offensive. It is still weird when people won’t look up a video or anything on the comedian they are going to pay money to see just to find out if they fit their sensibilities. Do you just buy two tickets to see ‘Debbie does Dallas’ at 8 without trying to find out what kind of business she got in Dallas in the first place?

Comedy clubs have to be able to find people that will attract an audience. It is too hard to comb through every video and email every comedian you like when you can see someone that has a large social media following and hang your hat on that.

Where it does affect the industry is that everyone is chasing the same get big quick scheme. It is not about having an act that will just crush for 50 minutes. It’s about doing whatever it takes to gain a significant amount of social media presence and going to the clubs with that information. When you got people worried about how to make a video go viral instead of their act you may have an issue.

The “Passive” and “Aggressive” Pursuit of a Comedy Career

I have spent a couple of days trying to figure out how I was going to describe the concepts I wanted to talk about. I spent the weekend hosting shows, and that is when it hit me. There is a passive and aggressive way to go about your comedy career. I’ll spend a couple of paragraphs going over what I mean.

A passive way of going about your comedy career

When I say passive what I mean may be different depending on the comedian or type of person you are. You may not write many jokes hindering your ability to move up. You may never get around to emailing bookers and promoters. You may also be one that never sends out avails in a timely manner and kind of let dates “come” to you.

Those are very passive ways of trying to become a full time comedian. There are a lot of downsides to this method of course. It takes longer to gain momentum and in the comedy business all it takes is one unanswered phone call and you are no longer in a club’s rotation. Just accepting what comes your way is a stress free way of pursuing comedy because there is no pressure to bite and claw your way up. You just wait for a booker to need someone and you are good.

The problems of course arise when you are actually paying bills. Bills are not passive. They come every month whether you like it or not. It is hard to have a good credit score when you only have a handful of shows a month. The passive approach are for those that may have a second job or other interest that pulls them away from doing this full time. Maybe you only have a couple days a year in which you want to be out of town doing comedy. Then this is a decent approach.

The Aggressive approach

When you see a comedian on the tonight show, or someone in a sketch on SNL, what you are seeing are people taking the aggressive approach to their comedy careers. This is the rise and grind folks. The ones that will move to New York or LA and sleep in a gutter just go after it. This is obviously the more stressful of the two ways of going about it.

The person who is out there getting it are always emailing and calling and networking. They have a friend who knows someone that can get them the email of the one gal that can get them a spot on this show under a laundromat and they do not hesitate to email them out of the blue. These are the people that will call up bars in a town they are going to visit their parents at and see if they can line up shows. They are always doing something to advance their careers.

Problems with this course is that it can burn you out. There is a finite number of times a person can get no return email before they just move on. The rise and grind mentality of going after comedy is very much draining on those that may be more introverted or suffer from depression or a mental illness that interferes with their ability to endure negative outcomes.

My approach

I have had ups and downs like a lot of people who are comedians. Mostly downs. When I first started, I was pretty aggressive. I was emailing any and every booker and promoter I had information on. I got work. Then the great recession hit. I went to college so I could not just do comedy any time I wanted. I was passive for those years, just getting what came my way. Still writing. Still going to open mics, but comedy had change so much. Bar shows shrank, so one nighters were further away, making it difficult to do and then get to class the next day.

When I graduated college, it was hard to get back into that get out and get em mode. I was finally free, but I had bills and responsibilities that would have suffered had I just not worked and done comedy full time. Once I was able to go after comedy full time though, I was stuck in this weird cycle where I wanted to pursue comedy hard and be working almost every weekend, but there was a mental aspect to it I think that dragged me down.

I have talked to many comedians who are not bothered by it, but I do feel a little defeated when I am sending avails to places and hear nothing back. Spending hours sending emails and getting no replies can be very frustrating. I know it is part of the “game”, but when you are asking for a chance from hundreds of people, it drains you mentally and you just back away for awhile…which is not ideal. For instance. In 2019 I was having a great start to the year. I was sending out avails and trying to get in contact with people and by spring my dates had dried up. That got me down and It took until winter to pick back up because I had stopped doing all the things I was doing for years up to that point.

The comedy industry is hard. That is why so many larger comedians will have an agent or someone to book their stuff. It is so much easier to deal with everything else when the most draining aspect of a comedy career is taken care of. The thing is, the vast majority of working comedians you see do not have an agent. They are emailing people and calling and trying to get a bar that is next to the town they will be performing in to call them back. I would be lying if I didn’t want to just become a parole officer and be done.

What approach would I take? Aggressive. Why? It is very hard in this industry to make a living when there are a thousand other comedians that are knocking down doors to be the next big star. That is why there are millions of podcast with comedians and if you are on social media, you have a couple of comedians on your friend’s list. Everyone is trying to climb the same narrow staircase, and if you are waiting your turn you may never get it. I am 41, and I think of all the years I wasted just thinking my skill as a comedian would get my calendar filled. That is not the case. You can’t just build the chapel you also have to get people in the building.

So, this is the start of my count down. I have been doing this long enough and so I will be done after a time. I don’t know when, but I will write something on why that is. Until next time.

Five Of The Biggest Mistakes I’ve Made As A Comedian

In life you will end up making a lot of mistakes. Most of the time you want to just learn from it and move on. I think from the biggest mistakes I’ve made as a comedian, I have moved on…to make more mistakes later. Here are the five biggest in no particular order.

Thinking clubs and bookers would want me because I’m funny.

I think a lot of comedians think that comedy is about being as funny as possible and everything else will sort itself out. Nope! Once I learned the true job of a comedy club or a comedy booker, my view changed. Being funny is a priority, it’s just not the first one.

A comedy club has to make money. You can be the funniest person on the planet and if you can’t sell your mom a ticket, a club doesn’t want you. Clubs will bring in people that they think they can make a profit on. It is not so much about art, it’s about keeping the lights on, and once you get that you approach it differently.

Comedy bookers and promoters are the same way. It is good to be funny, but better if they can get you to sell 1,000 seats at $50 a ticket. You can’t blame them! I have never met a comedy booker that was in it because he wanted to get art out there. They are in it to make money selling comedians to venues and if you happen to be someone that can put asses in seats the more of that they make.

Being shy about what I can do

I have a new Psychiatrist, and I don’t know when I will tell him that I am a comedian. That is how guarded I am about it. When I first started I was very much like that. I think that comes from being a naturally shy person, but in comedy, you have to be willing and able to put it out there. That doesn’t mean running around like an ass all day, but that also doesn’t mean not telling a soul like you have a couple bodies in the basement.

What being shy about comedy did was kept me from networking. Sometimes just hanging out at a bar with a comedian can lead to so many opportunities down the line. These organic ways of getting your foot in the door can lead to big things.

Believing everything everyone said

Man. If I got the number of shows people promised were right around the corner! People just say shit to entertainers because they think that is what they want to hear. There are a lot of people that think they are movers and shakers when in reality they are lazy and want to hype themselves up. People can also be incompetent, so they may have inroads with something, but just drop the ball until the chance passes. Now, I don’t count anything until I am walking through the door of the venue.

Promotion is key

I started in 2005 (or 2004 I wasn’t keeping track) before everyone was on social media. Promoting was going on Myspace and messaging people in the city you were about to perform in and telling them you had a show. At that time, I really thought that if you were funny all you then had to do was perform and it would build. That happens, but it is slow! Getting your name out is paramount to the success of a comedian. If you want to make an actual living doing comedy then you have to promote your stuff, and I am not talking about just posting it on your facebook page every once in a while.

It is vital that young comedians learn to take promoting seriously. I see so many of them just post a facebook flyer and call it a day. You are competing against everything and nothing. If a person has to decide between going to a place to see comedy from someone they may not know and just sitting at home doing nothing, they will usually do nothing, so you have to dazzle them with well made promotion to entice them like fish going for lure.

Trying to please everyone

Comedy is subjective. Some people may think you are the greatest comedian ever and some will think you suck. I would get on stage and try to get every soul in the building to love me. That is rarely going to happen. I feel like so many of us will do things that we are not comfortable with just so we can get others to accept us when it should be the other way around. They should accept you for who and what you are. Do the comedy that makes you laugh! Do what makes you want to grab the mic and talk into it until your voice goes hoarse. Either they will see the fun you are having and join in or they suck and you don’t need them in your life.

I Don’t Know What To Name This One

Look, as far as my comedy career goes, I am a failure. I can’t get booked in clubs because no one knows who I am. I am that guy you call when no one else will come to the theater in you small town. I am just a comic. I started writing these as a way to put out ”content” but not very many of you read it so I have failed at that as well. In my years scratching and clawing to make comedy work I have come to these crossroads many times wondering which way I should go, or if I should just lay down in the road instead.

The incident

I am writing this on a Saturday right after headlining a show in a theater. That sounds good, but there are hundreds of theaters all over this country looking for a reason to exist. Because I am a no name comedian, I don’t have an agent or manager because there is nothing to manage. I am a vulture of the comedian landscape. I get the scraps that are left over after all the hyenas and lions of the comedy kingdom have had their full.

The place is a dump. It smells on the way inside as if to warn you that nothing good grows here. I am early because I wanted to see if there was a place to setup my camera. There is none. well, nowhere that would not lead to me having my camera snatched. I look over the place with optimism because as a failed comedian you have to have faith that one day…one day…it won’t suck as much.

I sit and play games on my phone wondering what my set should look like. I look at my watch and it is almost showtime! I should go see how many people we have. None. We have no one in the theater because no one is at the door to let them in. I watch the audience trickle in and I do mean trickle. I look above the doorframe to see ”Capacity 350”. Well, no need to worry about that happening tonight. As there are about 20 locals scattered about this theater. There are opening acts and a host. While sitting there looking at the people who paid 20 dollars for a show that is starting late, it all washed over me. This is what failure looks like.

No blame

Even though the show started late and it seemed like a mess and a comedian just ran the light, and it didn’t look professional at all. I can’t blame anyone. I am done blaming people for these things. If I wanted the show to work out I should have been vocal about it. I could have easily went up to the show running and tell him to start the show instead of sitting there and waiting. I could have told the staff to cut that dude’s mic for going over time. There are many things I could have done because I have done hundreds of these shows now and I know what makes an audience feel like it is money well spent and an audience that feels as though they have been duped.

I am no longer that 25 year old guy that is just going with the flow. I love comedy, but I also have to be aware of my situation. I blame myself for booking a show in which I just let the booker worry about getting asses in seats. I blame myself for how the show looked like a bunch of people playing ”comedy”. I blame my failure on me.

Push forward

I am still here doing it though. Why? It’s what I love more than anything in the world. I love comedy more than the comfort of a steady paycheck and finacial security. I love comedy like I love my kid. She is ambivalent to me, but all I want to do is be near her. Comedy is like my heart. I want to take care of it and watch it flourish even though it tries to kill me from time to time. Sometimes I really wish I could give it up and not crave the feeling of making people laugh. That feeling that something you made up makes someone laugh just fires up my soul. That is what makes me keep going even though I am constantly failing. I write these not only to assist those looking for a little help from someone, but I also write it to remind myself that even when I am feeling at my worst (like tonight), I still have love for this art.

Treating Comedy Like A Job

Comedy, like a lot of entertainment type professionals, are mainly entered into because you love it. The problem is that if you are trying to pay your bills with nothing but comedy, you have to treat it like a job.

The problem is me

I think I could do a lot of jobs, but what keeps me from doing them is the people. That is why I don’t have an office job, the people sucked. When I moved into doing comedy exclusively, I tended to do what I would do at a normal job when someone isn’t looking: nothing. I don’t know how many hours I have wasted watching Youtube or playing video games when I should be doing everything to get more gigs. I think the reason it is so easy to put off is because the anxiety that comes with contacting people and working out dates and all of that just drains me mentally. The thing is, normal jobs used to do that as well! I just couldn’t take my pants off while doing it.

The hurdle

Comedy is about 10% jokes and 90% trying to get a club booker to answer your email. I just imagine my email getting tossed into a folder with the rest of the hopefuls that want to do their club just waiting to get deleted. The large majority of bookers out there have a stable of comedians that they will go with to get a show going. That is just how people are. We tend to take the nearest people around us, and forget the rest. I don’t think it is malicious or anything, it just becomes a problem when you need to fill out a 52 week calendar with more show dates and less “play video games and go to sleep” dates.

What should you be doing

The first things you should have done is a good headshot, a nice bio, and a video of your performance. Go get a professional headshot, and not a selfie. Writing up a bio should be a quick process of about four or five sentences about you and your comedy. Record your set and have different lengths. I used to have a three and ten minute video, but now I have heard people wanting even more. I don’t know why because they are not gonna watch it all.

Now that the basics are out of the way, you can treat this like a job. some people like to get up and write for a couple of hours, then check emails and respond to any they get. I can’t do it like that. I spend the first hour after waking up wondering where I am and how I am still alive. I usually check emails and if any are comedy related I get to those first. Most of the time I will get booking notices that are being sent to many other comedians, and it is a first come, first serve type of situation, so I want to reply as soon as possible.

Now that I got that out of the way, I am supposed to send out avails for the next couple of months. I say supposed to because this is the biggest anxiety point of being a comedian for me. I always feel as though I am begging and I am almost relieved when they never reply which is ridiculous! At least when they say no or to check back in later you have an answer, but that fear of hearing no paralyzes me. I have a list of comedy clubs and bookers that I go through and if I get a solid no I just leave them along for about six months. If I get a reply telling me to reply later I will note that. Out of the years of me doing this I have gotten into about 10% of the clubs I send avails to. That seems low, but you have to remember that they get a ton of emails and videos. If they don’t know who you are, or if you don’t have a ton of followers on social media then it is a tough road.

After that, if I have any video to watch I will look at it and see if there are any clips I want to cut and post to the web. I used to be one of those guys that thought less is more, but with social media you have to be releasing stuff regularly to gain the attention of these folks. So if it is a joke that I may not tell again I will post it to the regular social sites. I record a lot so that is another pain point with me. I will have hours of video that I somehow put off on watching and then when I finally get the nerve to, I have way to much of it and I end up deleting a lot of the videos

All that doesn’t really take that long. Maybe three or four hours. I usually write out the emails to the clubs one by one so they are not a copy and paste job. Usually because the references I have for different clubs will be different. Most of my time should be spent on generating content for social media because having followers or subscribers is a big deal to people trying to sell tickets.

Why is this so hard to do

The main reason why I don’t do this every single day is because I am not that disciplined. I like being able to do what I want to do, but when your job is to go across the country and make people laugh, you have to be regimented about it. Three or four hours of sending and replying to emails and editing videos would be most people’s dream. No boss breathing down your neck. No co-worker drama. Just you and your thoughts…and that may be why it is hard for me. I am not a pessimistic person, but I do have low self-esteem and that can drive me to avoid doing some of these things because I don’t believe I am good enough to earn them.

That fear of rejection and that thought of not adding up can really have a toll on your career. I have been doing this for long enough that most people in my position would be all over the country telling jokes, yet I am mainly a regional act because of depression and low self confidence. Treating it like a job makes you push through it because that is what you would do at your job. When I was in the military, I hated the monthly group meetings my job would do. I did it because it was what I had to do to avoid getting in trouble. Even though the stakes are much lower as a comedian, I try to see it the same way. That doing these little things is part of the overall profession.

Things I Still Don’t Know About Comedy

I have been performing comedy for awhile now, and I feel the longer I do this, the less I know about certain things. Here are a few.

How to fill your calendar

I know how to stumble into shows. I am great at that. You build a rapport with comedians and when they are booking stuff and they have already booked their close buddies and people in their immediate area, they book me. That is why I will have shows every month even if it is just a couple. I know someone that books something. That is not how most professionals book shows though. There is more planning in it that I have yet to get my noodle around. I chalk this up to ignorance as well as a pervasive anxiety whenever it comes to just connecting with someone out of the blue.

Promotion

I have seen what works for others, but when I enact it it just comes of flat. I did a weekend at a local club last week, and I had two ads out on it. Did that result in an uptick in audience? Nope! Is it because I decided to have someone illustrate my visage doing silly things like riding a fire breathing unicorn, or fighting a mechanical bear? I have no clue! I did it, I laughed, but no one else did it seems.

Recording a convincing audition video

I have tons of cameras around here…like weighed out all this crap weighs a ton. I know what promoters and bookers are looking for, I’ve asked them! I know how to record it so I don’t look like mashed potatoes. I can record the sound so it doesn’t sound like I am under water, yet, I have NEVER had a video clip of my comedy where I felt good about it. I don’t know if it is the fact that when I don’t document it I seem to have the greatest show of my life, or that low self-esteem keeps me from parading a good clip of my better stand up?

Booking my own rooms

I have produced shows, but I have always had help. I have never booked my own room. I am too anxiety ridden to do it myself. To me, calling a bar or event spot and asking if you can put on a show there is a monumental task, yet I seen it done all the time. Hell, that is how I get booked most of the time! When I have gotten asked to put on a show, I send it off to someone I know.

Messaging club bookers

I send out what people call avails. You send every club you think you can get into an email and you tell them when you are available to be booked. I don’t know how to go about this. I have a template I got from Steve Hofstetter (he didn’t personally give it to me he had it on an article he wrote). I am not that consistent with it because after about three months of no replies I get depressed and stop. Out of all the emails I have sent I got one date and that was to host and never got to go back there.

Write the perfect joke

Ok. This one is stupid one because there is no such thing as a perfect joke, but I am often in awe of comedians that write these clever jokes. I don’t know if it is because I am winging it so much or I am just a terrible writer, but that joke that I can’t wait to tell eludes me still. Some times I will sit and look at a screen just thinking of things to write that my be the joke that puts me over the top. I don’t know if other comedians feel like this, but I always feel like I am one joke away from getting to that next place in my career. I think that is why I am so anxious about this stuff. I filter out so many jokes that may work because in my mind they are not as good as they could be.

Not All Stage Time Is Created Equal

When you are first starting as a comedian you are told that the most important thing is stage time. Get on stage. You have to get on stage if you want to be a successful comedian. I will tell you right now that that is bull.

Why are new comedians told this?

When you are new, a veteran comedian will tell you to go to every open mic you can. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t cater to comedians! Just go up there in between acoustic sets and sling your yuk yuks. It is sound advice in theory because the more you do something the more comfortable you are at it. Getting on stage a lot helps calm your nerves and helps you focus on being as funny as possible. It can also help you with writing jokes, figuring out what actually works for you and your style, and ditch what doesn’t work so well.

Why is this not the best idea?

Like a lot of things in life, not everything is equal. That applies to stage time. In the above example, where you perform at a music open mic? That’s one of them. Any mic, be it a poetry mic or music open mic, may not be as welcoming to you and your jokes. That will lead to a more hostile crowd that may skew your view of your material. If no one is laughing, you may assume that it is because the joke isn’t funny. It may be because you encroached on their territory.

Another example of how stage time could actually be a bad thing is a poorly attended open mic. I have been to hundreds of open mics in my time, and the ones that drain the marrow from my bones are the ones where there are a small amount or maybe no audience. I can’t tell you what number of audience to comedians would make an open mic worthwhile, but I have done enough that if the room is mostly comedians it isn’t going to be much fun. Why? Because comedians are the worst group of people to make laugh. You are at an open mic, you have probably done those jokes at an open mic before. Those comedians are not gonna laugh at it. They are focused on their own jokes or playing on their phones or any number of things that make them a terrible audience.

A sparsely attended open mic may not be great, but the biggest mistake I see young comedians do is not be prepared. It doesn’t matter how much stage time you are getting, if you are doing the same material you have been doing for years, or you have no material and you are just up there fooling around, you were probably better off staying home. It kills me to see a young comedian not have anything they may have written during the time between mics and they stammer a bit and then say, “Well, what do you guys want to talk about?” That is a waste of time for the audience, the other comedians, and the staff that have to sit there while you fish for things to talk about. It makes even less sense when you think how little time you get at a lot of mics. If you are driving to a spot, paying for parking, sitting in that room for upwards of an hour and a half for three to four minutes and you ask the audience to help you try to be funny…I just don’t get it.

Getting wasted is also a great way to ruin stage time. I would hope most people understands their body enough to know how many drinks or weed cookies (?) it will take to put them in a coma. Don’t do that exact amount and then waste your time on stage. You are not using that stage time to create anything. You are using that stage time to make a fool of yourself.

I hope this helps some young comedian out there that has been told that they need to get on every stage in the state. It is valuable to see which demographics will like your jokes. It doesn’t help though if you are not using that time wisely.

Creating Your “Brand”

I have performed through two distinct eras of comedy. The older era where you worked the road until you were either “discovered” or had a heart attack in a Motel 6, and the new era where everyone that is trying to get eyeballs on them has to “brand” themselves. I’m also sorry to those reading this thinking we are going to scorch our skin. I am talking about the less smelly version.

What?

When an agent or another comedian says brand, they are speaking about the actions you are doing to spread awareness about yourself. Not unlike Coke, or the makers of Oxycontin. The only difference is that you are not a multi billion dollar entity that can commit crimes without much punishment. Your brand is what’s supposed to drive people toward you and spend money on whatever it is you are doing. So if you have a good enough brand, you can go to different areas of the country and draw an audience. This is a very simple explanation, but it will do for now.

How Did This Come About?

There are different reasons, but they both have to do with technology. You see, at the turn of new millennium, a potential audience had many more choices for entertainment then ever. Gone were the days of going down to your local speakeasy and drinking bathtub gin with the hopes that it didn’t blind you. You could stay at home, watch a porn on the living room TV and drink bathtub gin in peace.

Companies had to adapt, and so too did live entertainment. Artist knew that with technology a fan didn’t have to see you live if they could do anything else. Then Dane Cook came on the scene (He may not have been the first, but for our sake he is important). He started collecting emails (and this was back when people enjoyed getting emails) and sending those emails notifications when he was coming to their town. This created a swell of participation and rise that many hadn’t seen before. After seeing what Dane could do, other comedians started using his blueprint to cultivate a fan base.

The Start of the Influencer

This wasn’t the only thing that got everyone going brand crazy. YouTube and internet influencers became a thing. These are people that may have a talent, or not, but they do have a knack for attracting people to them. People looked at this and brought it over to help with their comedy careers. Look at your favorite comedian’s social media and then go look at the social media account of an influencer. They share a lot of the same techniques. That is because it works!

Why Does it Work?

Simply put, it works because humans have a very strong bond to people they feel as though they know. We hold those bonds strongly and so if you can create a way to funnel as many of those people onto you and what you are doing, they will soak up whatever you’re spilling.

This is why people buy Dodge and nothing but Dodge. Brand loyalty is strong and this is why every comedian chases it. If you can get a sizable number of people to come partake in whatever it is you are doing, you can basically print money. This is why you see celebrities at comedy clubs that have done little to no comedy. They know that they have a name that piques the interest of folks and they can get enough people to come out and see what they are up to.

The Negative

I think the biggest negative is that a person’s comedy is not as vital as the actual marketing of that person. There are so many comedians that start and they are focused on the promotion of themselves as a comedian that they forget to actually write jokes. In this day and age, a great marketer can open doors sooner than a great comedian. Now, this doesn’t mean that if you can promote yourself you will be the next Kevin Hart, but it will get you closer than the guy just trying to get a good half hour.

This may sound bitter…it probably is, but the industry has been taken hook, line and sinker by this and it will not slow down. All of the pressure is placed on the comedian to bring the audience and venues just sell the drinks and move on to the next person that can fill seats. It says nothing about the quality of the comedy to ensure repeat business. Think of it like a snake-oil salesman. They come to town, tell an audience that their bottle of liquid will cure what ails em and then they move on. The purchaser has no idea that they just bought toilet water. An audience that got pulled in because of the popularity of a person, but didn’t enjoy the show, may not ever come back, and now you are missing out of money down the road.

Do you Have to do This?

Nope. You will get left behind, and only the grace of sweet baby Jesus can help you, but you don’t have to do it. See, if you want to stay current in this business you have to at least know what trends are going on. Staying in place and doing what you have been doing for ages will only leave you an angry old has been.

The thing is, you don’t have to go hog wild with it. You don’t have to post 35 times a day and send emails to everyone about every little thing you do. If you want to collect an email list go ahead and grab them at the end of the show. I’ve seen comedians have people fill out a sheet of paper on their way out, and I have seen comedians direct people to their website to join their mailing list.

A social media presence is also a good thing. In this day and age you need to at least have a place for people to see what you are up to. A website is a nice little professional touch, much better than a rank and file Facebook page (But you can have one as well).

You can’t get much work if you don’t have at least a way for people to see you so there is a bare minimum you should do. As a matter of fact, I think building a brand is important for the reasons I discussed above. I just see the way the scales have tipped and I think it is a little lop-sided right now.

Should You Become a Full Time Comedian in 2020?

No.

See you next time!

You want an explanation as to why? Ok…

The Pay is Bad

I am assuming you are more in the feature comedian range if you are asking this question. Feature pay has not increased in about 25 years and in some cases it has decreased or gone away altogether. I know of a place that doesn’t even pay feature acts! That right there makes it really hard to fill the books with meaningful work that can lead to actual money in your pocket at the end of the day.

Clubs are not the Answer

If you are looking to be mainly a club comedian, I am sad to tell you that as a lone feature, it is difficult. Businesses are always looking for ways to cut costs, and if that means not booking an out of town feature then they will do it. Most clubs that I deal with rely on lower (i.e comedians that don’t have credits or a following) headliners to feature their clubs and they will throw in a headline night to make the spot look juicy.

Is There Anyway I Could Make this Work?

Sure. Get lucky enough to know a comedian that can bring their own feature. If a comedian can sell tickets, then a club will let them bring people and that comedian can set pay and accommodations. That is great because then you will get paid a wage that is usually higher. When I work with a certain comedian that is very popular, I get double what I get if I just went in there alone! That totally changes comedy from a part time gig to a full time job. The problem is you are attached to a comedian so if they decide to just make a TV show or not tour as much that can mess with your income.

You can also build a merchandise system. Selling items to the audience is risky because you don’t know if they will actually buy the items or not, but if it is good stuff you can line your pockets with extra dough. Say you are featuring somewhere and you get paid $75 a show for five shows. That gives you five opportunities to sell stuff. I have had nights where I increased my nightly pay four or five times just from selling stuff! There is cost involve with this, but it is one of the more sure fire ways to make full time comedy work.

I am such an optimist when it comes to comedy that sometimes I forget that for some people it may not be feasible to make what I make some years with comedy. 2018, for example, I was below the poverty line when it comes to comedy income. I would not want anyone to suffer even if it is something you love. Comedy is a bitch. There are long drives and crowds that hate you. So if you want to make this work as a career you have to be prepared to go all in. That means pounding the pavement, and getting shit done so when you are five or ten years down the road you are not regretting your actions.