What the Chris Rock/Will Smith incident teaches us

If you don’t know, Will Smith slapped Chris Rock during the 2022 Oscars (for which he was up for an academy award) after Chris Rock made a joke referencing Jada Pickett-Smith, who is Will Smith’s wife. I will attempt to take both sides in this and see what we can learn from this.

Rock’s side

Chris Rock has hosted awards shows and since he is a comedian, he has jokes for everyone. It is a hard gig because hollywood stars are some of the most stick in the mud people there are. You would think for a bunch of people who get paid a lot of money to pretend to be stuff, they would be a little more light hearted, but no.

Rock does what he does best when up to present and threw out a couple jokes. My biggest problem with it. It wasn’t a good joke. Mrs. Pickett-Smith has a lot of things out there in the know that he could use as fodder and he went with her bald head? Maybe the writers or Rock if he wrote that himself, didn’t know that she suffers from Alopecia, a disease where your hair falls out. As a woman, she is probably sensitive to that.

A comedian’s job is to say things and get a reaction. And that is exactly what happened.

Smith’s side

Will Smith was up for an academy award. This is supposed to be a big night for him. Then Chris Rock comes out and makes fun of your wife’s condition. All of the pain and anger that something like that causes can bubble up and well…we saw the result.

A comedian is supposed to extract a reaction out of you. Most do not want Will’s reaction.

What can be learned from this?

If you are a comedian, this is a lesson that what you say holds weight. It probably shouldn’t. The things we say should not be held to too much scrutiny because of the medium we are using. Stand up is a pure art form design to elicit laughter, so everything said is in the pursuit of that. What we may see as a formation of words with a purpose of gaining laughter others may see it (and rightfully so) as an attack, and that is something we need to be careful with.

Rock used what most comedians use a technique called punching up. The problem is that when the joke is about a medical condition, one in which can’t be helped by the subject of the joke, it is not seen as someone joking with a person that shares a high status, it is seen as an insensitive joke. If I were advising Rock about that joke before he went up there, I would have told him not to because the benefits (laughter) is dwarfed by the backlash (seen as making fun of someone with a medical condition).

This still does not excuse the actions of Smith. He has been nominated for numerous awards and he knows the drill. It is almost a roast the way those celebrities get made fun of. If it is something he doesn’t feel he can handle then he can not go to these things and have his award mailed to him.

This goes to anyone who wants to go to a comedy club. Research the comedian you are going to see. There is always at least a video or two of the comedian at work. If you don’t like what you see then stay home. If you go to a show and the comedian is doing something you don’t agree with, go home. You are not Will Smith and you will be in jail if you put your hand on someone because you don’t like their material.

What’s been going on

I started this blog at the end of the blogging “revolution”. I never gave it a unique URL, I just wrote stuff that I learned from my years doing comedy. A buddy of mine thought it would be a great idea to write what I knew for the people that want to try comedy, but didn’t have a guide. Well, I wrote weekly for a year and then pretty much solidly for another year and just noticed that I didn’t catch on to anyone. The demographic for low and low-mid comedians is small. Add to the fact that I never really branded it meant it was a base of knowledge that not many had access to. That is why I have basically stopped. I may collect these and put them in an ebook. I could sell like 3 a year!

Went to Las Vegas with my high school best friends and it was great. It reinvigorated me. I have been getting a little down on my comedy career, especially when I see that my military buddies are retiring and my other buddies are making dough in their careers and I feel like I have been spinning my wheels for about four years. It helped me see a little more clearly. That doesn’t mean I don’t think I am still spinning my wheels. I just feel better about the whole thing.

Comedy has been steady so far in 2022. 2021 was a cluster with lower amounts of shows. I think this was due to more comedians just bringing acts with them taking those coveted club feature spots. I can’t blame em. Why risk it with a stranger when you can get someone you know isn’t gonna give you the Rona. The club feature spots are great cause if you sell merch, you can make as much as a low level headliner. I was attached to two national headliners: Dan Cummins and John Caparulo . I haven’t worked with Cap in a couple of years, but Dan has been giving me work and it is appreciated. It is a different experience when a big headliner brings you along. The club gives you a room. They usually pay a little more, and they don’t treat you like a burden. It feels good.

I did a big show with my buddies in Idaho. I love doing stuff like that, but three of the four of us are headliners. The only way we work together is if someone is willing to take less, or we do a show like the one we did. I don’t mind making less cause I always think I can make up for it selling stuff. I just love working with people I like and the money doesn’t bother me.

The next three weeks will be full of travel. Going to the Seattle area twice this month and heading to the east coast next week. It feels good to be doing busy comedy stuff.

Until next time.

What is “real” in the comedy industry (apply to the entertainment industry as a whole)

I just finished an episode of ‘Black Market’ on Vice. The episode in question, talked about the use of “bots” to inflate numbers on streaming services and cause you to not be able to get that cool new item that just hit store shelves. Now, bot is a term used for programs that do what humans do, but way more efficiently. So, you want the new Jordan’s. You would have to click on the shoes and do all the fraud stuff to finally click purchase. A bot can do all that in seconds, and with multiple bots on the same page, they can scoop up all the in demand product before you got your wallet out. Now in terms of entertainment, it is being used to inflate streaming numbers. Bots are also being used to inflate social media numbers so that a person looks better to people wanting to use their platform to sell stuff.

So, as I watched this show, I thought to myself: What is real in this business?

Nothing new under the sun

You’ve no doubt heard the saying “nothing new under the sun” and that is the case here. Companies and business interest have been propping up certain people for ages to attract a certain clientele. In the old Hollywood days, they would have two up and coming stars go out on the town together to get the gossip going for a new movie. A rock band would get a sexy album cover done up so as to bother the pearl clutching masses.

When I first started comedy, the bringer show was popular. A bringer show is where the promoter will tell the acts that they will have to bring people to the show in order to get on stage. The more people you brought, the more stage time you got. This really inflated the numbers for the promoter. They look as though they know how to put on a show, when in fact they sold stage time.

There was also the “trick” of having a person that could fill seats “headline” and flood the rest of the line up with people because the headliner couldn’t do as much time as a headliner is usually required to do. Again, it inflated the confidence in the person that they could headline when in fact they used their family and friends to have a cool night at a bar.

Technology makes everything easier…and harder

Once social media became a thing and you could reach out to more people than just those within your view, it opened up a whole new level of tracking popularity and ways to exploit it. There are legit comedians who got a big push because they were relentless on social media. Any comedian that is decent can do this. If you are funny, and can make compelling content for social media you can see you numbers rise…maybe.

You see, those people I talked about up there are a very small number of super human, super weird people. Think about it. You have to be on social media and pumping stuff every day. The algorithm demands it! There are a lot of comedians that just forget or loose steam or have other things to do. I was on the road this weekend, and I had photos from the show I wanted to post, but because I was driving, in the freezing fog, I had other things on my mind than posting sick photos on social media. It is hard to keep up with the appetite of people that just want to be entertained so a lot of comedians will not gain as much traction as maybe their talents would relay.

We finally talk about bots and comedy

Stand-up comedy can be affected because just like music labels and advertising companies, clubs and promoters and bookers are looking at these same social media numbers to see if someone is “worth” it. Here is an example: Comedian A and Comedian B are both trying to get into a comedy club for this open weekend. Comedian A has 12 years of experience and some credits, but nothing that jumps off the page. Comedian B has been doing it for four and has amassed a following on Tik-Tok of 250k followers. The club will more than likely go with Comedian B.

This is not to say that Comedian B doesn’t deserve it. It’s just that for as long as stand-up has been around, the way up was creating an act that was funny through and through. So, just from what you see in front of you more experience could translate into a better show and happier patrons and repeat customers. That is not how comedy clubs work however. There is too much risk in having a low turnout weekend because no one knew the comedian they had there.

It’s not like clubs didn’t have an answer for this already. When a club had a person come in that wasn’t moving tickets organically, they would just “paper” the room. Papering the room is just giving out free or discounted tickets. The club isn’t really concerned about the money at the door (in some, but not all situations). They want to get into your pockets when you sit down to eat and drink, they just need you there. So, going with Comedian B and their 250k followers he has the potential of selling out a room…maybe.

Something is afoot

Here is where the issues lie. How do you know that the numbers you look at are true and not just inflated by none booze drinking computers? Sometimes by the time it’s too late. The club has the information that they usually dug up themselves or was given to them by the agent of the person coming in. Of course those numbers are gonna look more favorable for the talent. So the club doesn’t know if that person spent $1500 to get 100k followers or to get their videos to look as though more people are watching them. They just click on the profile photo and see that Comedian B has 250k followers.

In the online space, you can keep pulling this off until you accumulate a bunch of money and legit success or you get found out as a fraud. In the comedy industry though, it comes a lot quicker…and slower. Do you know how many shows I have done where the headliner was some Tik-Tok or Vine star and when I get there twenty people are in the audience? I used to say to myself: “Man, I guess no one in Spokane ever heard of them then.” Nah. That is their real draw, I am just giving people the benefit of the doubt because I have been told all my life that if I haven’t seen the success, that means I haven’t been working hard enough. What’s great about this though is that if they have a contract and guaranteed money, they will leave and do it to the next club or event space. No club wants to announce to the world that they had a low turn out for a show, so these people can keep on doing it until they get a DUI or something.

Is this bad for the industry

When I was thinking about writing this all up, the last thing I wanted to do was come off bitter. That is what guys who haven’t grasped technology do. Having a following online is a great way to connect and grow your audience. When you can show the same results with the use of technology, it changes the dynamic from funny and lucky to bot user and lucky.

I am not going to sit here and say that this is the end of comedy clubs and all that. Comedy clubs are in a weird space in the American entertainment landscape. There are so many comedians that can say any number of things that an unknown number of people can find off-putting or offensive. It is still weird when people won’t look up a video or anything on the comedian they are going to pay money to see just to find out if they fit their sensibilities. Do you just buy two tickets to see ‘Debbie does Dallas’ at 8 without trying to find out what kind of business she got in Dallas in the first place?

Comedy clubs have to be able to find people that will attract an audience. It is too hard to comb through every video and email every comedian you like when you can see someone that has a large social media following and hang your hat on that.

Where it does affect the industry is that everyone is chasing the same get big quick scheme. It is not about having an act that will just crush for 50 minutes. It’s about doing whatever it takes to gain a significant amount of social media presence and going to the clubs with that information. When you got people worried about how to make a video go viral instead of their act you may have an issue.

The “Passive” and “Aggressive” Pursuit of a Comedy Career

I have spent a couple of days trying to figure out how I was going to describe the concepts I wanted to talk about. I spent the weekend hosting shows, and that is when it hit me. There is a passive and aggressive way to go about your comedy career. I’ll spend a couple of paragraphs going over what I mean.

A passive way of going about your comedy career

When I say passive what I mean may be different depending on the comedian or type of person you are. You may not write many jokes hindering your ability to move up. You may never get around to emailing bookers and promoters. You may also be one that never sends out avails in a timely manner and kind of let dates “come” to you.

Those are very passive ways of trying to become a full time comedian. There are a lot of downsides to this method of course. It takes longer to gain momentum and in the comedy business all it takes is one unanswered phone call and you are no longer in a club’s rotation. Just accepting what comes your way is a stress free way of pursuing comedy because there is no pressure to bite and claw your way up. You just wait for a booker to need someone and you are good.

The problems of course arise when you are actually paying bills. Bills are not passive. They come every month whether you like it or not. It is hard to have a good credit score when you only have a handful of shows a month. The passive approach are for those that may have a second job or other interest that pulls them away from doing this full time. Maybe you only have a couple days a year in which you want to be out of town doing comedy. Then this is a decent approach.

The Aggressive approach

When you see a comedian on the tonight show, or someone in a sketch on SNL, what you are seeing are people taking the aggressive approach to their comedy careers. This is the rise and grind folks. The ones that will move to New York or LA and sleep in a gutter just go after it. This is obviously the more stressful of the two ways of going about it.

The person who is out there getting it are always emailing and calling and networking. They have a friend who knows someone that can get them the email of the one gal that can get them a spot on this show under a laundromat and they do not hesitate to email them out of the blue. These are the people that will call up bars in a town they are going to visit their parents at and see if they can line up shows. They are always doing something to advance their careers.

Problems with this course is that it can burn you out. There is a finite number of times a person can get no return email before they just move on. The rise and grind mentality of going after comedy is very much draining on those that may be more introverted or suffer from depression or a mental illness that interferes with their ability to endure negative outcomes.

My approach

I have had ups and downs like a lot of people who are comedians. Mostly downs. When I first started, I was pretty aggressive. I was emailing any and every booker and promoter I had information on. I got work. Then the great recession hit. I went to college so I could not just do comedy any time I wanted. I was passive for those years, just getting what came my way. Still writing. Still going to open mics, but comedy had change so much. Bar shows shrank, so one nighters were further away, making it difficult to do and then get to class the next day.

When I graduated college, it was hard to get back into that get out and get em mode. I was finally free, but I had bills and responsibilities that would have suffered had I just not worked and done comedy full time. Once I was able to go after comedy full time though, I was stuck in this weird cycle where I wanted to pursue comedy hard and be working almost every weekend, but there was a mental aspect to it I think that dragged me down.

I have talked to many comedians who are not bothered by it, but I do feel a little defeated when I am sending avails to places and hear nothing back. Spending hours sending emails and getting no replies can be very frustrating. I know it is part of the “game”, but when you are asking for a chance from hundreds of people, it drains you mentally and you just back away for awhile…which is not ideal. For instance. In 2019 I was having a great start to the year. I was sending out avails and trying to get in contact with people and by spring my dates had dried up. That got me down and It took until winter to pick back up because I had stopped doing all the things I was doing for years up to that point.

The comedy industry is hard. That is why so many larger comedians will have an agent or someone to book their stuff. It is so much easier to deal with everything else when the most draining aspect of a comedy career is taken care of. The thing is, the vast majority of working comedians you see do not have an agent. They are emailing people and calling and trying to get a bar that is next to the town they will be performing in to call them back. I would be lying if I didn’t want to just become a parole officer and be done.

What approach would I take? Aggressive. Why? It is very hard in this industry to make a living when there are a thousand other comedians that are knocking down doors to be the next big star. That is why there are millions of podcast with comedians and if you are on social media, you have a couple of comedians on your friend’s list. Everyone is trying to climb the same narrow staircase, and if you are waiting your turn you may never get it. I am 41, and I think of all the years I wasted just thinking my skill as a comedian would get my calendar filled. That is not the case. You can’t just build the chapel you also have to get people in the building.

So, this is the start of my count down. I have been doing this long enough and so I will be done after a time. I don’t know when, but I will write something on why that is. Until next time.

Checklist for the open mic comedian

I just wrote a checklist for the new comedian that may be doing it as a new year’s resolution, so I thought it was only appropriate that I also make a check list for the open mic comedian. Now, for this, I am saying open mic comedian as one that hasn’t been doing it that long. Just going to open mics and trying to write decent jokes.

1. Write!

You must write to improve in comedy. Yes, being able to look comfortable on stage (if that is your thing) is something that takes practice, but you will be much more at ease on stage if you write! This is a hurdle for a lot of comedians for a number of reasons. Maybe they are not sure about what they are writing. Maybe the chunk that they do gets a good reaction and they don’t want to do bad. It matters not! Write and be ready to tell them fresh jokes.

2. Hit the stage

Nothing will slow the progress of a comedian like not getting up regularly. Now, I can’t tell you what regularly is. When I first started there was only one open mic in town. When there were more I went to them all. Repetition is the only way to get so good at your material that you can tell it no matter what. The reason you want this repetition is that you want to be able to not use all your brain bandwidth just trying to remember your jokes. With your jokes out of the way now you can focus on acting out and other things that can make a comedian shine.

3. Work toward a simple goal

In my time, many comedians have approached me after a couple of months wanting to know how they can feature at the club or something. That is an admirable goal, but it is too big. When first starting out, you need to have manageable goals that won’t sideline you if you don’t achieve them. First work on getting five good minutes. After that work on another five. Now, try to get 15 good minutes. By the time you have 25-30 minutes of good material you will be have a better chance of getting that feature spot.

4. Go watch a show

Comedians are weird. They will want to get better, but then they won’t go down to their local comedy spot and watch how a “real” show is put on. I say real show because an open mic is not really a show in the tradition sense because anyone can get up and talk into the mic. A professional comedy show takes a couple of forms, but the traditional way is an MC, then a feature act (or middle), and a headliner (closer). Once you see how a show is put on you have a better sense of what is expected of you if that is your goal.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask questions

Ask. Inquire. Be nosy. Find out stuff! Information is so important in comedy. For an up and coming comedian it could mean the difference between wallowing in purgatory or getting work. You want to know the ins and outs of places. Spots that you can travel to for time. People to stay away from. Ask and be open to suggestions. That is the way of the open micer.

Checklist for the first time comedian

So, you found this…thing when you googled “First time comedian” or something like that. Well, I am glad you are here. I have been doing this for the same twenty people for way too long, so it is always good to have a new set of eyes (or if you have only one eye I am sorry for assuming). When you read these…things…you will see lots of advice and subpar writing, but at least the advice is…something.

You should know what you need for that first time getting on stage. Every veteran comedian knows there will be a swarm of you guys looking to break in at the start of the new year so check these off your comedy to-do list before you even put your stage pants on.

1. Look up stages in your area

This may seem like a simple thing, to google comedy spots in your neck of the woods, but I have met many people that didn’t know for years that we had a comedy club in Spokane, WA. Look for more than just comedy spots because many places with stages (or sometimes not even that) have open mics. That is a place where comedians go to tell jokes to people more drunk than they are. Some open mics have sign up list that you have to fill out online so make sure you know all that beforehand.

2. Please for the love of Betty White (RIP) write some jokes

Lots of people from the outside look at comedy as something just off the cuff. That these people are walking up on stage with a vague notion of what they are going to say…and some do that, but the vast majority of comedians have written jokes that they have performed to the point that they are as sharp as can be. The jokes don’t have to be Shakespeare, they just have to be stuff written down so when you are on stage you are not so nervous that you forget everything you thought you were going to say.

3. Know the rules

Nothing makes veteran comedians dislike a new guy more than when they burn the light their first time. Every open mic I have ever been to will tell you how much time you have. Time is the most important thing to a comedian, and open mics even more so because a lot of those people only get that time to work on material. Also find out if you have to check in with the host that you are there. Some clubs have a rule that if you miss your spot you won’t be able to go up for a certain amount of time.

4. Don’t drink

People say it all the time, “It calms my nerves!”. You know what I see a lot of the time? A first time comedian that gets up wasted and forgets their material and just has a bad time and never does it again. Don’t ruin your first time by drinking. At least find out how your nerves will be before you get on stage to see if it even bothers you. I have met people that are not phased by stepping on stage.

5. Have a good time!

This may be your first and only time on a comedy stage. You may get up there and realize that you do not like it. None of that matters though. What you should do is get up there and give it all you got and try to have the best time possible. No one has gotten on stage once and became the next Jeff Foxworthy. So don’t worry about the future and focus on the time you are about to spend making people laugh (or not laugh, hell I don’t know you).

Hopefully this helps you with your new year’s resolution. It is always nice to see people check something that they have wanted to do for awhile off their list.

I think I will turn this into a multi part post by moving on to a checklist for the open mic comedian…

The Best of 2021

2021, a less sucky 2020. This decade is off to a crappy start, but there were some bright spots this year, let’s talk about them!

Best Comedy Special

Phillip Kopczynski: Live at the Spokane Comedy Club

Full disclosure: I have eaten at Phillip’s house and rode on his boat. With that being said, his special was a delight! This may be easy for me to say seeing what he did to get it out to the world. He produced it himself, paying a team to film and edit it. He got a distributor to get it out to the masses (and that is easier said than done) and promoted it almost entirely by himself. That would be an achievement all on its own if it wasn’t for the fact that he is not a household name. He isn’t selling out theaters. He is a guy that works and believes in himself and continues to push and do the things that are needed to become that next big thing. I love the special and I hope you check it out.

Most Read Post

Not All Stage Time Is Created Equal

This is not a big blog. It averages a couple hundred a month which is about right for a no body. My most read post talked about looking at the stage time you are getting and seeing if it is worth all the effort you are putting into it…or the lack of effort. I think I got the idea after watching an open mic guy go up and do the same jokes he was telling for years now and it got me thinking what did he think he was getting out of it. I didn’t see it as valuable. I saw it as a waste of time, so I decided to waste your time by typing up my thoughts.

Best Trend In Comedy

Trying to correct wrongs

Comedy has a lot of problems with it…a lot, but one thing I have seen is that bigger comedians are trying to do better for the comedians in the lower ranks. I have seen guys give more money to features and try to diversify the line up so the show is a bit more appealing to a larger demographic than just the people that pay to see them. This opens the doors for minorities as well as women to get more pay out of their stage time and that is always great.

Worst Trend In Comedy

Big comedians complaining about being cancelled

I watched no less than three specials this year where the comedian talked about getting cancelled and how it is out of control. Not only is that ridiculous, but it is pretty odd that they complain about getting cancelled for saying stuff…while they are saying the stuff and going on to make a great living. I was under the impression that getting cancelled meant you could no longer work and was kicked out of society. What is happening to these guys (and they were all guys by the way) is they are saying something terrible, people say it’s terrible and they continue about their lives. That is not getting cancelled, that is getting called out on your bullshit.

I watched Dave Chapelle’s latest special and it started great…until he leaned in to the things he was talking about for three specials and how he was going to get cancelled, but he went on to get his documentary shown (the same one he complained about not having a distributor) and make more money! It’s like as these comedians get older and the longer people have told them they are the greatest the more they want a one way conversation. That is not how speech works. If you say something stupid people can say it is so. You either have to admit to it or keep it moving. Instead these guys are beginning to act like babies.

That’s it for 2021. I have one last show and then I am on to 2022 where there are shows all over the country. I hope 2022 grows my comedy a bit. I want to do a monthly sketch. I want to release another album (or two) and I want to do a couple shows with my buddies. I hope the new year greets you warmly and without covid in your body. Thanks for reading my bullshit.

Five Of The Biggest Mistakes I’ve Made As A Comedian

In life you will end up making a lot of mistakes. Most of the time you want to just learn from it and move on. I think from the biggest mistakes I’ve made as a comedian, I have moved on…to make more mistakes later. Here are the five biggest in no particular order.

Thinking clubs and bookers would want me because I’m funny.

I think a lot of comedians think that comedy is about being as funny as possible and everything else will sort itself out. Nope! Once I learned the true job of a comedy club or a comedy booker, my view changed. Being funny is a priority, it’s just not the first one.

A comedy club has to make money. You can be the funniest person on the planet and if you can’t sell your mom a ticket, a club doesn’t want you. Clubs will bring in people that they think they can make a profit on. It is not so much about art, it’s about keeping the lights on, and once you get that you approach it differently.

Comedy bookers and promoters are the same way. It is good to be funny, but better if they can get you to sell 1,000 seats at $50 a ticket. You can’t blame them! I have never met a comedy booker that was in it because he wanted to get art out there. They are in it to make money selling comedians to venues and if you happen to be someone that can put asses in seats the more of that they make.

Being shy about what I can do

I have a new Psychiatrist, and I don’t know when I will tell him that I am a comedian. That is how guarded I am about it. When I first started I was very much like that. I think that comes from being a naturally shy person, but in comedy, you have to be willing and able to put it out there. That doesn’t mean running around like an ass all day, but that also doesn’t mean not telling a soul like you have a couple bodies in the basement.

What being shy about comedy did was kept me from networking. Sometimes just hanging out at a bar with a comedian can lead to so many opportunities down the line. These organic ways of getting your foot in the door can lead to big things.

Believing everything everyone said

Man. If I got the number of shows people promised were right around the corner! People just say shit to entertainers because they think that is what they want to hear. There are a lot of people that think they are movers and shakers when in reality they are lazy and want to hype themselves up. People can also be incompetent, so they may have inroads with something, but just drop the ball until the chance passes. Now, I don’t count anything until I am walking through the door of the venue.

Promotion is key

I started in 2005 (or 2004 I wasn’t keeping track) before everyone was on social media. Promoting was going on Myspace and messaging people in the city you were about to perform in and telling them you had a show. At that time, I really thought that if you were funny all you then had to do was perform and it would build. That happens, but it is slow! Getting your name out is paramount to the success of a comedian. If you want to make an actual living doing comedy then you have to promote your stuff, and I am not talking about just posting it on your facebook page every once in a while.

It is vital that young comedians learn to take promoting seriously. I see so many of them just post a facebook flyer and call it a day. You are competing against everything and nothing. If a person has to decide between going to a place to see comedy from someone they may not know and just sitting at home doing nothing, they will usually do nothing, so you have to dazzle them with well made promotion to entice them like fish going for lure.

Trying to please everyone

Comedy is subjective. Some people may think you are the greatest comedian ever and some will think you suck. I would get on stage and try to get every soul in the building to love me. That is rarely going to happen. I feel like so many of us will do things that we are not comfortable with just so we can get others to accept us when it should be the other way around. They should accept you for who and what you are. Do the comedy that makes you laugh! Do what makes you want to grab the mic and talk into it until your voice goes hoarse. Either they will see the fun you are having and join in or they suck and you don’t need them in your life.

I Don’t Know What To Name This One

Look, as far as my comedy career goes, I am a failure. I can’t get booked in clubs because no one knows who I am. I am that guy you call when no one else will come to the theater in you small town. I am just a comic. I started writing these as a way to put out ”content” but not very many of you read it so I have failed at that as well. In my years scratching and clawing to make comedy work I have come to these crossroads many times wondering which way I should go, or if I should just lay down in the road instead.

The incident

I am writing this on a Saturday right after headlining a show in a theater. That sounds good, but there are hundreds of theaters all over this country looking for a reason to exist. Because I am a no name comedian, I don’t have an agent or manager because there is nothing to manage. I am a vulture of the comedian landscape. I get the scraps that are left over after all the hyenas and lions of the comedy kingdom have had their full.

The place is a dump. It smells on the way inside as if to warn you that nothing good grows here. I am early because I wanted to see if there was a place to setup my camera. There is none. well, nowhere that would not lead to me having my camera snatched. I look over the place with optimism because as a failed comedian you have to have faith that one day…one day…it won’t suck as much.

I sit and play games on my phone wondering what my set should look like. I look at my watch and it is almost showtime! I should go see how many people we have. None. We have no one in the theater because no one is at the door to let them in. I watch the audience trickle in and I do mean trickle. I look above the doorframe to see ”Capacity 350”. Well, no need to worry about that happening tonight. As there are about 20 locals scattered about this theater. There are opening acts and a host. While sitting there looking at the people who paid 20 dollars for a show that is starting late, it all washed over me. This is what failure looks like.

No blame

Even though the show started late and it seemed like a mess and a comedian just ran the light, and it didn’t look professional at all. I can’t blame anyone. I am done blaming people for these things. If I wanted the show to work out I should have been vocal about it. I could have easily went up to the show running and tell him to start the show instead of sitting there and waiting. I could have told the staff to cut that dude’s mic for going over time. There are many things I could have done because I have done hundreds of these shows now and I know what makes an audience feel like it is money well spent and an audience that feels as though they have been duped.

I am no longer that 25 year old guy that is just going with the flow. I love comedy, but I also have to be aware of my situation. I blame myself for booking a show in which I just let the booker worry about getting asses in seats. I blame myself for how the show looked like a bunch of people playing ”comedy”. I blame my failure on me.

Push forward

I am still here doing it though. Why? It’s what I love more than anything in the world. I love comedy more than the comfort of a steady paycheck and finacial security. I love comedy like I love my kid. She is ambivalent to me, but all I want to do is be near her. Comedy is like my heart. I want to take care of it and watch it flourish even though it tries to kill me from time to time. Sometimes I really wish I could give it up and not crave the feeling of making people laugh. That feeling that something you made up makes someone laugh just fires up my soul. That is what makes me keep going even though I am constantly failing. I write these not only to assist those looking for a little help from someone, but I also write it to remind myself that even when I am feeling at my worst (like tonight), I still have love for this art.

Did Covid Kill The Holiday Corporate Show?

A lot of road comedians get happy around September or October because that is the beginning of the holiday office party and bringing in the big bucks! In 2017 about 40% of my yearly earnings were made the last two months of the year, and that was all because of these holiday shows.

Why are they big money?

Companies love to find ways to boost morale that doesn’t involve paying their employees more. So they will usually have a get together around November or December where they have a party and pay for entertainment. It’s easier to pay a comedian than give everyone at the company a raise. The most I’ve done in one season was about eight and that wasn’t even the most money I made during that time! Thousands can be made in a short time if you know how to work it or if you get lucky (like I did in 2017).

It pays well because companies set aside that money just for such things. Depending on how big the company is, you can get a lot of money out of them for very little effort on your part. There is no flyer or promotion. There is not worrying about attendance. Hell, you even know you’re gonna get feed! It’s a great time if you can make it work out.

2020 changed everything

But then 2020 came around and screwed everything up! Last year was the first time in about a decade I didn’t have at least one Christmas party I was booked to do. Looking at the future is almost impossible now because with new variants and mandates and all that, its hard to see what the future will hold for people like me that get a big kick to their income from these types of shows. Will companies be more hesitant to get all of their employees together if its basically a super spreader event? Are companies rocked by 2020 and can’t afford a comedian? These are all things that I sit and think about as the holidays draw nearer.

What can be done

I am going to take a proactive approach this year. I am usually on the sidelines waiting to see what my buddies got going on or if a random booker emails and ask if I can do a holiday corporate show. Now, it is important to look at the companies you did business with in previous years and see if they are going to do anything for the holidays. Let them know you are available if they are. I am so bad at keeping records on companies that hired me that about 80% of them I have forgot, but I do know enough of them to google them up and ask about their plans. Maybe I am too expensive for them now, but that doesn’t mean no comedian can get that gig. Over the years I have sent many comedians work that I could not or would not be able to do. If I get in contact with a company and I am out of their price range I will also have to try to remember if I had a good time there or not. Sometimes it is worth taking a little less money if it means I get to have a kick ass time and eat candy canes off their Christmas tree.

2020 has messed with a lot of industries and comedy is no different. With the changing landscape there is no telling what may happen from day to day. I think 2021 will see some companies try to get back to normal and have parties and stuff, but it will not return to pre pandemic levels until around 2023. I think that will be when companies recover to the point that they will feel good about having get togethers on the level that warrants entertainment.