If you haven’t read the first one, or the second, you should check those out to see if I hit something that bothers you as a comedian. Here are some more of not just my pet peeves, but a lot of comedians I have talked to over the years.
The Attention Whore: We are talking about audience members with this first one. This is the person that can’t stand that their friends are enjoying someone other than them. They always thought they were the life of the party, but are too chicken shit to get on stage. They will do any and everything to get inserted into the show even if it means making an ass of themselves. They don’t care that they are embarrassing their friends because fuck their friends who suddenly paid money to hear this person tell jokes!
The No Notice Cancellation: This sucks donkey balls. This usually happens with bar shows where they either don’t give a damn about the entertainment, or the establishment caught the manager embezzling money and they are so busy with that they forgot to tell you they don’t have money to pay you. It sucks more if you are trying to connect shows together so you don’t have to sleep in your car or call up that one night stand from three years ago, and beg to sleep in their garage.
Over Promisers: That may not be a word, but this is a thing. Usually involves a promoter that has never promoted anything before. They want you on their show because you are one of three comedians they know. They say you will get a meal and a ton of money and a BJ, and 400 people said they were gonna show up. You get there and there and only his family shows up, you get a lukewarm redbull as a meal and the BJ he promised was from is asthmatic aunt. You have to blame yourself a little bit for this. You got suckered in by the promise of sexual favors and now you have to drive four hours back home. At leas the redbull will keep you up.
The Promise Of Exposure: Can’t pay your rent or car payment with it, but people love to try to pay you with that. I am not getting exposure from a bar in the remotes of South Dakota. A talent scout isn’t coming to Medford Oregon. Some times it is a real possibility that something else will happen if you do the show, but mostly it won’t. People who ask you to work for exposure must have the largest assholes. Only someone with that much shit in their lives can possibly think that exposure is this thing that artist eat up like Ramen noodles, which is what you will be eating a lot of if you keep doing all this work for exposure.