I have been doing comedy for almost ten years and in those 10 years I have been in two relationships. In those two relationships, I have had so many fights about comedy and it’s after effects that I stopped counting long ago. If you are going to pursue comedy, you will need a partner that is not only secure in the relationship, but also encouraging. I think the biggest reason for falling outs is that a lot of the time, people see comedy or theater as a hobby, not something someone can really do to earn a living. That is the big reason why I ended up going to college. My girlfriend at the time (We shall call her Miriam…because that was her name) wanted me to get a good paying job.
I have seen more often than not that the biggest reason a relationship falls apart because of comedy is when the person that is not a comedian starts feeling like they no longer matter. This is on the comedian. You can not expect to have someone as a back up plan when there are no open mics or shows that night. It is always important to let them know that they are very important to you. You have to understand that a relationship with a comedian is not like dating a banker. There are late nights and drunks and even a mean spirited little person. With that said, you have to have a partner that is secure enough that they will come with you to events or they can find things to do when you are not around.
I think when people get into relationships with comedians they have to understand first of all that you are dealing with someone that doesn’t think like you do. They may see things a little twisted. They may make fun of things that are sacred to you. If that is the case then you need to find someone that can sit still at Nanna’s funeral (Who puts a hat on a body in a casket? Of course I’m gonna laugh.).
There will be instances where they are out until weird times of the night because they are out doing comedy and no one likes comedy when the sun is up. They will also be accosted by drunk old men, women, and children. If you are used to being the center of attention then you might want to swipe to the left of that comedian on tender…or is it right? I should probably research these jokes.
Women are a huge part of the comedy audience. They may approach the comedian and talk to you. Your loved one has to be secure enough in themselves that they will see this as someone that enjoyed your work and move on. If this person wants to bang you and they suspect that then you as the comedian should know that banging the fans, while enjoyable, can be hazardous to your relationship. It’s all about trust. Does your mate trust you around a pari of boobs? If not then you should probably either leave that relationship so you can bang who you want or sit them down and ensure them that you are not banging ever woman that tells you they enjoy your show.
I have seen some relationships where the comedian had to choose between comedy and the relationship. If I was ever confronted with something like that I would leave that relationship. Comedy is my life. It is what I love and it is what defines me as a person. I could never just get a normal day-to-day without comedy being an outlet. I would honestly rather swallow a bullet. But since I don’t like massive head trauma, it is best that I get out of any relationship that would ask that of me.
People often ask me if I think two comedians can be in a worthwhile relationship. I don’t know. Every time I have seen it it has not worked out to well. Either because the two in the relationship have different ideas on what comedy is to them, or one gets more work and it causes a strain on the relationship. Or someone in the relationship is just a douchebag.
I don’t have any good observations on women comics. Most of the women comics I know are single. When they get in relationships the guy is usually really protective because most comics are guys and guys (for the most part) like vaginas. It is hard for a lot of men to see their lady as the center of attention. The married comedians I know are doing pretty well. Maybe because they are not as broken as their male counterparts…I don’t know…I just observe and report.
Like any relationship, a relationship with a comic is about trust. Do you trust that comic to come home without someone’s saliva on their genitals? Do you trust them to not spend their show money on cocaine? Can you handle going to bars and traveling miles and miles for little pay? If not then just date a banker, or a mechanic, or one of those guys that fixes air conditioning units for apartment buildings. You may not want to be around someone who’s life is about making people laugh. Or you may have found an asshat. I don’t know. I just observe and report.