Every morning I wake up two things come to mind: What is my daughter doing and then I start thinking about comedy. Depending on my attitude at the time, I am either optimistic and want to go out there and get it or I am pessimistic and just want to leave it be.
Comedy is not like another profession because so much subjective stuff goes into it. It is not just showing up to a work place and do jokes. You are not dealing with just an industry you are dealing with an industry that has many parts to it. You are not just going to Kansas to do a corporate gig. You are doing a corporate show, then one in the midwest, then one for whatever group hired you. There are so many things that someone looking at your video can just say no to that it is no wonder comedy is a hard nut to crack.
Personally I get to a point where I would rather die then give up comedy. Then I get a temp job that is paying well and the next thing you know I am thinking if I can give it up. That is a problem. That is when you have to realize that that loving feeling is starting to fade. The high you got from pursuing comedy is getting replaced with sadness and hatred then it is not something you should be doing.
Don’t get me wrong. This has nothing to do with people. This has to do with me. This has to do with the fact that I have not been able to get the attention of bookers. I sit at open mics and I just want to go home. I don’t even look forward to getting on stage. Maybe it is a phase, or maybe I am wrong. Maybe I can get over this in due time. Until then I will pick up a little job and keep myself busy.