Comedian Rules Of The Road

If you are actually trying to go after comedy as a career, you will end up driving places.  That is a given.  Here are some of the rules that I use so as to have a successful road trip.  Remember these are just my little rules, other comics may do other things.

1.  Leave on time – I am a stickler for this.  I like to leave at a time where if I have a hotel room I can get there and relax.  So, for instance, If I were travelling to Portland I would leave 9 hours before the show starts.  From Spokane to Portland is roughly 6 hours (give or take how many times you have to pee), If I leave then that means I have a 3 hour buffer for things to go wrong.  Last year I was going to a show and I left early and my tire blew and my spare was jacked. That still gave me time to get to my hotel (from a tow truck) and decompress for an hour.  It was like nothings actually happened to me.

2. Follow the speed limit (to a degree)- This one rule has saved me thousands of dollars in fines and tickets and I learned it the hard way.  I was driving through Oregon and I was doing 80 in a 60.  Just blazing through that state.  I got pulled over and had to pay out over 50% of my earnings that week in tickets.  That one time was enough for me.  Now I go at the maximum 5 miles over.  Constantly.  I have flown by cops on the freeway going 5 over and have not been stopped since (about 8 years ago).

When I am in a small town I don’t even go 5 over.  I am not getting my black ass pulled over in a small little town where they can hide a body real easy.  If the limit is 20, I do 20.

3.  Entertainment Good entertainment will keep your brain busy while you are driving 11 hours to Winnemuca.  I love podcast.  So my iPod is chock full of them when I am going on a long road trip.  I keep it a good mix so I am not listening to just WTF with Marc Maron for 8 hours (not that that’s a bad thing).  I love anything about the supernatural, but there are not that many good podcast on them.  I save up the ones I have and listen in bliss when one my trip.

4.  Someone else’s car, Someone else’s rules – On the rare occasion when I am with someone else and in their car I let them do their thing.  The only things I do not tolerate is drunk driving.  If they want to listen to heavy metal, go ahead!  They wanna smoke clove cigars, go ahead!  It is their car and I want no drama.  Most people will see that they have a guest and act right, but if not remember, you are saving money on gas.


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